Cheap

Today ah thought ah waz ‘earing voices…
‘CHEAP’it zaid. Waz it talking to me? Does sumbody zink ah am cheap?
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Muzzerr and Le Uncle stood around snorting and giggling like big idiots.
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Le Sheeps were listening in, zey want to know if ah cheaper zan ah look.
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‘Crikey’ zaid Le Uncle Persil.
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‘e always zay Crikey when he does not know what else to zay.
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‘e pretend ‘e is not listening but ah know ‘e iz.
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‘Cheap’ ah ‘eard it again,  and zis time ah zee ‘oo iz calling me cheap.
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‘Are you calling me cheap?’ ah ask and ah use mah big growly voice.
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Le Uncle look like ‘e just swallow le bird.
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‘Cheap’ zay la bird but ‘e will not look me in le eye.
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‘Just between you and me, ah am not a cheap ‘orze’.
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‘CHEEEEAP,’ ‘e zaid, zis bird iz persistent, ah give ‘im zat.
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Zen ah realise, ‘e iz not talking about me. Clearly ah am not a cheap ‘orze.
‘e iz referring to mah Muzzerr’s new ‘airstyle.
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