Le bit between le teefs

Uzzeurr Muzzeurr ‘oo ‘ave desarded to call UzMuzz ‘ave arrive.
‘Allo allo UzMuzz’ ah say, ‘that is you’ ah add ‘elpfully.
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Today ah ‘ave le bit in le mouth, but ah will show Monsieur Rory that ah can do more than that. Ah also add le rope.
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Actually, ah am undoing le tie up rope.
Nobody can keep me tied up for long.
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‘Look UzMuzz’ ah say, ‘ah ‘ave le bit between le teefs and Limpet is strapped on mah back’.
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It is tarm to show off to la girls be’ind le fence. Ah ‘ave ‘ad le weekend off and am ready to get to le work.
Ah am le working ‘orse now.
”ang on Limpet’ ah murmeur
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The it is tarm to really get le move on. La girls are watching and ah am off fasteur than le speeding pullet.
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The  ah stop and ah play with le bit  in le mouth. Monsieur Roar Eee take it out and we all walk oveur to le arena.
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On le way, we are accosted by le big blueh monsteur. It does roar but ah am not afraid.
Ah stand in le most casual pose, resting le foot so la girls know ah am not afraid of le blueh monsteur ‘oo roar.
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We all stand around and act le casual for le bit.
Monsieur Roar Eee stand and rest ‘is foot while ‘e touch le bleuh monsteur.
Ah ‘ave to admit ah am impressed by that.
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Then it is tarm to show UzzMuzz ‘ow Monsieur Roar Eee ‘as progress with ‘is L’impet wrestling.
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‘e is not bad at staying on L’impet ‘oo is on mah back. AH am careful to balance them both.
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Ah experiment with le eyes closed. That is ‘ow easy ah am finding this. Ah smile and ‘um a little melody.
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Then ah get a bit dizzy and forget what ah am doing.
Ah ‘ave to open l’eyes to check to see if la girls are still watching – of course, they are.
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We all go back to mah ‘student flat’ and  UzzMuz brush mah ‘air afteur le Monsieur once again wrestle L’impet to le ground. Then UzzMuzz unpack le week worth of le clean underpants, lunch and dinneur nom and clean mah room.
Ah am ‘oping la girls do not notice ‘er fussing oveur me. Ah am embarrassed but not so embarrassed that ah do not want ‘er to continue.
Finally she go ‘ome.
‘Do not worry about me UzzMuz’ and ah whispeur, ‘ah am le good little boy’
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Zephyr is Out and About

Today Monsieur Roar Eee and ah desard to go exploring.
It is le first tarm out.
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”urry up Monsieur’ ah say, ah ‘ave things to see.
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‘ee is too busy gas bagging with ‘is mates,
ah tell Uzzeurr Muzzeurr to tell ‘im to ‘urry up.
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Suddenly, we are off. Ah got this. It is quite interesting.
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There is much to look at. Although, ah do not see any girls.
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‘What le ‘ell is that?’ ah say, but ah am only joking, ah know what it is.
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Ah explore oveur ‘ere
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All l’exploring is is quite interesting ah think.
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Ah wondeur if there are any girls living in ‘ere.
Looking at how much grass is left in ‘ere ah doubt that very much.
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Ah  enjoy le self immensely. Ah am le famous explorer. Le name Zephyr will be spoken in awe.
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Ah am awestruck by my bravery.

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Suddenly le ground it fall away beneath le feets.
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Surely Monsieur you do not expect me to tread there, there is no ground to put le feets on.
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But ‘e does. Ah can not believe it. Where do ah put le feets? What is ‘appening?
Ah ‘ave to be very careful ‘ere – anything could ‘appen.
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Then ah get it, le front go down and le back go up.
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Suddenly ah ‘ave become such l’expert of ‘l’ill work’ we end up miles away from Uzzeur Muzzeur
‘oo is far too slow and scared to keep up with me.
Ah call out to ‘er. ‘Do not worry about me’ ah cry.
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By le tarm we get back, ah am famished.
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Ah ignore la girl next door, ‘where did you go’? she ask, ‘Zephyr, where did you go???’
But ah am busy eating.
Ah did not even break le sweat ah think to mahself.
Respect.
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Out in the open

Aah Uzzeurr Muzzeur is ‘ere at last. ‘allo ‘allo ah say cheerfully.img_0669

‘Tis ah, Zephyr’ ah add in case she do not recognise me. It ‘as been le few days.
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Le Monsieur and ah take Uzzeur Muzzeur oveur to where ah will show ‘er what ah ‘ave taught ‘im.
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Ah tell ‘im to stay in le one spot while ah test le ground.
‘e do this quite well. ‘That is very good Monsieur’ ah say.
Now we will do something new.
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Ah desard to try to teach ‘im to jump up ‘igh. Ah demonstrate.
(La girls oveur le fence are watching so ah make it le big jump)
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‘JUMP!’ ah say, ‘lark this’…
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Just between you and me, it is true what they say – white men can not jump. Ah experiment with more jumping. Ah am ‘aving fun. La girls ah am sure, are most impressed. Ah impress  mahself.
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Then ah am wore out. Monsieur Roar Eee and ah show Uzzeurr Muzzeurr l’ackamore.
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‘It decorate  le farce’ ah explain ‘elpfully.
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Monsieur Roar Eee ‘elp me into it.
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Ah show Uzzeurr Muzzeurr ‘ow ah ‘ave trained Monsieur Roar Eee to stay on mah back
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This way we can explore and ah do not ‘ave to wait for ‘im to catch up all le tarm.
Ah am looking for la girls.
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But le Monsieur ‘e ‘ave otheur plans.
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ah do not mind so much; we can explore oveur ‘ere.
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Then ah desard to take ‘im for le canteur. ”Old on tart monsieur’ ah say.
Ah am ‘oping la girls are watching me now. Ah am also starting to feel a little ler peckish.
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Ah am sensing le dinneur.
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‘Dinneur noms’ ah think to mahself, ‘mmmmm carrots’.
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Ah may ‘ave said that out aloud.
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Ah did not mean to say that aloud.
ah am thinking about ‘ow ah can blame it on Monsieur Roar Eee.
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Ah put on le ‘Racing Face’. La girls are impressed.
Ah am wondering if Uzzeurr Muzzeurr ‘as any carrots.
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Ah show Uzzeurr Muzzeurr le Racing Face…
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It is so impressive, ah ‘ave to race off to show la girls…
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