Ah ‘ave been ‘ere for a week now and still no red carpet is being rolled out.

Ah talk to my Muzzerr about zis…

She gives me a kiss and ah immediately feel much better.

Ah check zat mah tail is still attached.
It iz.

So Zen ah skippity hop around for a bit.

Ah kiss la grass before ah eat in – zat way, ah know ‘e feel much better about being eaten.

Of course ah can’t go around kissing all le grass zo ah just kiss la more important looking grass ‘eads.
Zen ah try different ways of eating le grass.
Ah try zucking it up like a big ‘oover.

Zen ah bite it like a shark.

My Muzzerr tell me stories about sharks and such zings.

I practise mah yoga.
Zis is standing three legged llama poze. Not everyone can do zis.

Imagine mah surprise when I go back to Muzzerr for a drink and discover a Llama illuminated inside ‘er belly!

Running away az fast as a speeding pullet  is mah only option.

Followed by a dignified walk back when ze dangeur is over.

Ah ‘ave been ‘ere 6 days now and mah Muzzerr will not let me out of ‘er sight.

She follows me everywhere.

Ah tell ‘er ‘Go away Muzzerr, ah ‘ave top secret business to do’.

But everytime I look be’ind me zere she is.

Mah top secret business will ‘ave to wait anozzer day.

Right now ah need a drink.

Today, mah zleep waz rudely interrupted.

Ah ‘eard a noise so naturally, ah took it upon mahself to investigate.

What did ah find but a man and a loud mouthed Siamese cat ‘iding be’ind a tree.

Of course, ah demand to know what zey were doing.
Ah waz all zet to chase zem away but zen le man, ‘ee convince me to let zem stay.

‘Ow did ‘ee do zat ah ‘ear you ask?
Zis man, ‘ee very clever, ‘ee know all mah itchy spots.

La cat iz uzeless, ‘ee just there with an opinion on everything.
I understand ‘ees job iz le Official ‘Ouse God.

Later ah tell my Muzzerr about le ‘Ouse God and she sayz she ‘eard all about ‘im.
She say ‘ee a nozey Pain in le bum.