Horse eating monsters and meteor strikes.

Today we ‘eard a ‘uge bang on le uzzer zide of le world.
Le Uncle raced off to find out what waz going on.
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‘There’s been a Meteor strike in Russia,’ said Lambo, ‘oo knows everything.
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‘You wouldn’t want a meteor to land on your head,’ said Moulamb.
She often zay dumb zings, why would a Meteor want to land on ‘er ‘ead?
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I asked, ‘Why would le Meteors want to go on strike? Do zey not get paid enough?’
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Gollamb agreed, we often have intelligent conversations like zis.
‘e iz a very smart sheeps.
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‘Maybe one of zem waz treated unfairly’ I zaid, in a very knowledgeable way.
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‘Muzzerr’, ah zaid, ‘Did you know le meteors are on strike?’
She ‘ad no idea. Where do zay live?’ I ask ‘er but she ignore me as usual.
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Zen ah noticed zat Muslamb and la Good Sheep Lollypop ‘ad swapped la false teeths.
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Quelle ‘orror!
Ah’ad to take a second look.
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Zen Le Uncle notices le false teeths.

And zen ’e notice me staring.
‘Crikey‘ e zay,
‘You’ll make your Mother as cross as a frog in a sock if you don’t behave yourself’.
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A frog in a sock – ‘oo goes around putting frogs in socks.
Ah ask Le Uncle where to find a meteor.
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‘Mate’, ‘e zay, ‘You want to check your Mother’s undercarriage,
I’m pretty sure ah noticed a Meteor hanging out there earlier.
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Ah ‘ave to be stealthy, but if mah Muzzerr iz ‘iding a Meteor in ‘er undercarriage, ah am going to find it.
‘That’s it Mate’ urges Le Uncle, ‘it’s under there somewhere’.
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‘Ah can’t find one’ ah yell to Le Uncle, but ‘e ‘az mysteriously disappeared.
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Muzzerr stalks off to give le Uncle a ‘Gobful’.
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‘E must ‘ave sweet talked ‘er though because next zing ah know zay are doing la ‘oovering together.
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Zen, one mah most favourite peoples came over to introduce me to a big ‘orze eating monster. Mah Uzzer Muzzer ‘angs on to mah muzzer and mahzelf while le Monster opens ‘iz jaws.
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And zen she try to encourage me to walk into la mouth of le monster.
It ’as already swallowed ‘alf of mah Muzzerr zo ah am not keen at all.
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Mah Uzzer Muzzer ‘and me over to Le Aunty Jenny,
‘oo apparently iz better at persuading ‘orzes to be eaten.
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Le Aunty Jenny explain zat being eaten up by zis big monster iz apparently not such a bad zing.Ah am not zo sure.
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Just pop your foot up here she zay and try standing on the monsters lip.
Le monster ‘as ‘ad botox and it feel funny under mah ‘oof.
Ah eventually put mah two front feet onto Monster lip and zen ah am allowed to walk back out.
Ah get loads of praise for being a brave ‘orze and we decide zat iz enough of being eaten up for today.
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Ah am a very brave ‘orze.
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