Le Uncle ‘as agreed to watch sport with Muzzerr as ah can no longer associate with ‘er. She ees just too embarrassing.
Muzzerr, she ees looking forward to today’s game.
‘We must not be late Persil’, she say as she get a good place to stand on le field.
Mahself, ah cannot stand watching le sport.
Especially not with Muzzerr.
Muzzerr and Le Uncle watch as le door rolls up to reveal le first contestant.
They are all eyes agog.
‘Good on ya, Sport,’ mutter Le Uncle.
Muzzerr she ees strangely quiet. Ah think she ees trying to make a good impression with Le Uncle.
Of course eet ees too late for that.
Suddenly Le Uncle start up.
‘Christalmiody’ ‘e say, ‘they need ta stop fartarsing around and get on with eet’
Ah believe ‘e mean ‘Isn’t it a nice day please pass le carrots’.
Eet ees ‘ard to understand Australian but ah am getting le ‘ang of eet now.
Then, quelle ‘orreur, Muzzerr get going.
‘Blimey’ she say, ‘Open it up ya useless b’stard!’
‘We’re not at a piano recital’ she yell.
BOOOYAH!’ she scream, although nothing ‘as yet ‘appened
She ‘as clearly ‘ad too much XtraCal
‘TOUCH DOWN!’ shout Muzzerr all of a sudden, and she stomp ‘er ‘ooves.
Even Beetle Magoo get all excited as le game start.
‘BooooYaaaaaah’ he shout, ‘Get a fricken wiggle on’.
Old Partly Bluett pipes up…
“What?’ ‘e say, ‘Something about a chicken wiggle?’
Madame Magoo try to look intelligent.
‘Chickens,’ she say, ‘they sit around on eggs all day you know’.
Le Uncle remind Muzzerr that een thees sport,
there ees no such thing as a egg. Just een case she think about getting all clucky again ‘e say.
Le Uncle then start explaining le rules to ‘er.
‘The point of the game ees’ ‘e say, but Muzzerr ees yawning loudly already.
‘Listen Merlot,’ Le Uncle try again,
‘eet ees all about getting the car out of the garage at speed without hitting anything’
‘BORING’ say mah Muzzerr.
Ah am so embarrassed ah ‘ide be’ind ‘er.
While ah am there, ah start to give ‘er a new tail style.
Ah am almost asleep as le car finally backs all le way out of le garage.
‘Well,’ say mah Muzzerr, ‘That took some skill’.
And we all wander off to eat some grass.