It is good to be ‘ome, UzzMuzz can not stop kissing me every chance she get.
Ah do not mind.
Ah understand that ah am l’extremely kissable young man.
Ah stand by le fence and wait for ‘er to rush out with le kiss.
We ‘ike round le roadside and Benoir bounce about le bit but ah stay le cool and calm.
Attack birds, le tractor, le group of ‘orses, le barky dogs, le reindeer and le bull with le big ‘orns do not scare me.
When we get back, UzzMuzz exclaim – ‘He has not even broken a sweat!’
Benoir and moi inspect le grass for l’azzards and while we are looking, we stuff le faces.
When we get back ah discoveur L’imbicile ‘as taken up L’opera song.
Muzzeur ‘as ‘ad enough.
“It is all in Italian, she moan, I have no idea what he is singing about”
Ah do not care, ah inspect l’ay bag to make sure ‘e ‘as not eaten it all.
“Do not worry Muzzeur,” ah say when ah ‘ave finished l’ay bag,
“ah am le world’s most ‘elpful little boy so ah will translart”.
We settle down to listen to L’ooveur. This will be le most boring afteurnoon eveur, ah am glad ah ‘ave all l’excitement this moaning.
‘e continue, as ‘e stare into Muzzeur’s eye with le sickening intensity.
Ah ‘ate ‘im…
“Of course what ‘e mean ‘ere”, ah explain, “is
ah lark to fart and ah can canteur too.
‘e repeat le bit about le canteuring and farting several tarm”
This is le most boring opera ah ‘ave eveur ‘eard.
Come to think of it, it is l’only opera ah ‘ave eveur ‘eard, ‘oweveur, in Muzzeur’s best interest ah continue to translart despart nearly dying of le boredom.
“‘e is now saying that ‘e lark to tippy toe around in le show ring so ‘e can showoff to all la girls – e sing about ‘ow much ‘e especially love la beige tart and ‘ow much she love ‘im” ah add, looking at ‘er from le corneur of le eye.
Ah can sense Muzzeur getting more and more le cross. eh eh eh.
Finally ‘e finish. Ah thought it would neveur end.
“What was that last bit about Son?”
“erm, something about ‘is present girlfriend ‘aving become fat and something about ‘er l’uge backsard.” ah sigh as if ah am sorry about this.
eh eh eh.