‘The human goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a bag of carrots.
He goes back in and says to the horse: “This alright?”
‘Crikey’ say Le Uncle, ‘A whole bag, that’s a fair suck of the sav’.
But eet eez too late, ah ‘ave lost mah Mojo’
Besides, le sun ‘as come out and Uzzerr Muzzerr comes in to undress us.
She leave a ‘alter on le fence zo ah get eet for ‘er.
Ah am a ‘elpful sort of ‘orze.
Ah ‘ave taken up le pipe smoking which ah feel gives me an air of Bourgeoisies more in fitting wiz a Lord of mah stature.
Besides, what eez a smoking jacket without someone inside eet ‘oo eez smoking?
‘Aha’, ah said, chewing the pipe wiz what ah felt waz an air of gentility.
‘Ow nice of you to pay a visit’.
Le Uzzerr ‘orses are taking me far more seriously now zat a smoke also.
Except for Muzzerr and Le Uncle.
All of a sudden Uzzerr Muzzerr shows mah Muzzerr le text message she ‘as written to le ‘orse expert Jenny Paterson…
Dear Jenny Paterson,
Imagine my surprise to find that Zephyr has taken up smoking –
I know it may be my fault in that I was responsible for buying him a smoking jacket but I did not think he’d take that seriously.
How can I stop him before he becomes a problem smoker?
He informs me that it makes him appear bourgeois and that other horses take him far more seriously now that he smokes.
Ah realise now what le panic eez, she zink ah ‘ave developed a ‘abit.
‘What a ridiculous notion’, ah zay, ‘what a ridiculous notion.
Ah can stop whenever ah like’.
And ah give ‘er mah ‘You are a stupeed ‘uman’, look.