Ah ‘ave just built le nest for le nap, ah am rudely interrupted.
‘Zephyr’ UzzMuzz say, ‘Your Masseuse is here’.
As ah am now on le way to becoming le world’s greatest eventeur, race ‘orze and show jumpeur,  all sort of people want to congratulart me.
Ah realarse Mademoiselle Yourmasseuse must be ‘ere to congratulate me on something ah ‘ave done recently.

Ah must assess le situation – will this be worth getting up out of le bed for?
Ah do not get up for less than one bag of le carrot.
Ah am just about to go back to le sleep when…

To mah utteur astonishment, ah am hauled to le feet.
What l’ell?

There are no carrots.

Ah feel lark barting something so ah bart le rope.
Mademoiselle Yourmasseuse admire mah strong back.
‘Ooh’ she say, ‘what a strong and ‘andsome fellow you are’, or something lark that, I do not know ah was not listening.

Ah expect le carrot at any moment.
Ah do not lark to stand ‘ere for nothing.

She now admire mah botterm.
Most people do.

‘Yes’ she say, ‘now that is the backside of a true champion race horse’.
Ah know it is.

‘This has the strength of 40 horses, you must be able to run like the wind’.
Ah agree with ‘er, it is easier that way.

Just between you and me ah can fart lark le wind also.

UzzMuzz is looking at me.
‘Are you making stuff up in your head again Zephyr?’ she ask.
Ah do not know what she is talking about.

Ah give ‘er le look to wither ‘er mane.
‘Ah do not make sterf up UzzMuzz’.

‘Clearly Mademoiselle Yourmasseuse know a Champion ‘orze when she feel one’.

‘AND NO AH DO NOT LOOK LARK LE GIRAFFE’.

Ave you look at yourself lately?’

Ah did not think so’.
‘Ah ‘ave to tell you UzzMuzz that you ooh aarrr, that you…erf’

It is then that ah notice UzzMuzz laughing at me.
Ah fail to see what is so funny.

‘You could do with some plaits in your mane’ ah say ‘aughtily.

‘There is nothing funny about what is ‘appening ‘ere.’

Suddenly it is all oveur and ah need le snooze.

‘You must come and see me again soon’ ah explain, ‘olding back le yawn.
And ah kiss ‘er on le shouldeur.
Then ah must walk away.

Then ah notice Mademoiselle try to strangle George.
Muzzeur will be pleased.

Ah ‘ave things to do. Ah leave ‘er to strangle Monsieur George.