Ah am *thinking about ‘ow ah can solve all le world’s problems and ‘elp all le starving ‘orzes in Africa when, allo allo, ‘oo should arrive but l’orze ‘oo ‘as obviously bought ‘is suit in le same shop as mine.
This ‘orze ‘as taste ah think.
Le new ‘orse look to ‘is Uzzeurr Muzzeur, ‘Who is this Dickhead?’ ah ‘ear ‘im say.
He is clearly le New Zealand ‘orze.
According to L’Uncle, in New Zealand language, le word ‘Dickhead’ mean ‘andsome and educated’.
Ah am flattered and ah think this may be, le new best friend for me.
‘Thank you ah say, mon nom est Zephyrr and ah am French’.
then ah gently lower mahself and flip upsard down.
Ah show everyone mah inverted levade. L’Uncle taught me this.
It feel so good ah do not want to get up.
Ah kick le lambs up ‘igh and spin around, ah do la canter Pirouette Inverte .
‘Get up! no one is impressed by that’ say Uzzeurr Muzzeur, ‘Get up and behave yourself!’
What do you mean no one is impressed?
Le new best friend look very impressed.
Le next thing, ‘e get down to try les dressage moves ‘imself – ‘e is awkward.
Ah understand – ‘e is le New Zealander. This is not something ‘e can ‘elp.
All of le sudden, just as ah am about to doze off in le sun, le clinic director,
(‘oo, it turn out is Australian! Ah can not wait to tell L’Uncle) turn to me.
Apparently, ah must do as she say or she mart make me go ‘sweem with les croc’. She ‘as that look about ‘er.
‘Do as you’re told young man’ she say, ‘or oi will make you sweem with the crocs’.
At least ah think that is what she say. Ah do not know ‘ow to sweem.
‘No really, now would be le good time to rescue me’.
Because ah can not get away ah am smiling le winning smile at le Australian ‘oping she will go away.
But this Australian is asking me le question and ah ‘ave no idea what she just say
so ah keep smile le winning smile until she think ah am le most charming young man she eveurr meet.
Suddenly she put ‘er right foot in.
You want to dance l’okey Tokey with me?
Is this ‘ow Australians greet each other when they meet?
Ah am relieved L’Uncle ‘as taught me to do this so well.
‘Put le right foot in’ ah am ‘umming le tune.
Ah wink at Uzzeurr Muzzeurr – ‘Lucky ah already know l’okey Tokey Muzzeurr’ ah say L’Australian can not teach me anything ah do not already know.
Then all of le sudden, le clinic is oveurr. Le paparazzi swarm all oveurr le place to get le shot of me with le fans.
Ah ‘ave taught everyone everything ah know. Ah think they all learned a thing or two.
L’Uncle will be pleased with me.
*Ah was not really thinking about solving le world’s problems or le starving ‘orzes in Africa.
Ah do not give le toss about such things. Ah would lark le carrot bag though.
Ah think ah deserve le carrot bag and ah am le starving ‘orze.