Listen very carefully ah shall say this only once…

L’embicile ‘as gone off to boot camp. eh eh eh. Finally.

We farewell ‘im yesterday afternoon. Of course, ah pretend ah am very sorry to see ‘im go…
‘Good Bye L’ooveur’ ah shout. “Au revoir and Bon Voyage!’

Muzzeur was impressed with le sincerity.
‘What a sincere little boy you are’ she say.
Yes she still call me ‘er ittle boy. Ah do not marnd.

eh eh eh.

ah feel as sincere as le wet ‘oof brush. Le one with le pine needles stuck on eet.
Sincerity leak out of me lark sweat from le frog.
“Do not come back you big ‘airy tosseur” ah think to mahself.

Then to mah great surprise and delart, along come Monsieur George…
‘e is ‘ere for rest and recreation. Ah can ‘elp ‘im with that.
‘e look lark le narce chap and best of all…

Muzzeur can not stand ‘im.
‘Get away from my son!” she scream.

Ah am so ‘appy ah do not where to put all mah legs.

Larf will be fun once more – Muzzeur will no longer be spending ‘er tarm flirting with le new ‘orze.

There is no chance of Muzzeur falling in love with this ‘orze.
She think ‘e le biggest pedophile l’earth ‘as eveur seen.

And ‘e take no chance with ‘er.
‘Bloody hell’ ‘e say, ‘steady on Old Girl’.

‘Ah would not be calling ‘er ‘Old Girl’ if ah were you ‘ah  whispeur, but ‘e do not ‘ear me.

‘Did he just call me OLD GIRL?’ Muzzeur ask.
“ah think ‘e say ‘You ‘ave lovely curls” ah say.
eh eh eh.