Today ah desard to ‘ave le serious whispeur in l’ear to l’imbicile about ‘ow le Papparazzi lark to fartograph me, not ‘im.

‘Monsieur ‘ooveur’ ah whispeur full of le politeness, ‘ah wish to ‘ave le talk with you’.

‘Ah am le most famous and ‘andsome ‘orse in le world’.

‘e seem to be listening so ah continue…

‘It is not easy being le most famous and ‘andsome ‘orse in le ‘ole ward world’ ah explain.

‘and you ‘ave to understand that ah take le responsibility very seriously’.
‘e is taking this betteur than ah thought ‘e would.

‘e seem to be taking l’ecture so well in farct, that ah keep going.
‘You need to realarse that ah ‘ave le Papparazzi follow me everywhere and all this fartoberming ‘as to stop’.

Suddenly ah notice ‘e try to speak. It sound lark ‘e choke on something.

‘Are you OK Monsieur?’ ah inquire, although ah am pretty sure it is just ‘is Italian speech impediment.

Ah do not understand Italian even though it is just English backwards.
‘baitomahbermo’ he gasp.
Ah ‘ave no idea what ‘e is saying but ah ‘ave concern ‘e may ‘ave le case of le colic.
Muzzeur would kill me if ah give ‘im le colic.

‘aving explained le position ah tippy toe away from ‘im before Muzzeur realarse ah may ‘ave just killed ‘er boyfriend inwhich case this could be awkward.
‘e stand on le spot silently watch me go.