Today ah ‘ave to explain Jet Propulsion to Muzzerr. She ‘as no idea about such stuff.
On le uzzerr ‘oof, ah ‘ave a great understanding of all zings physical.

‘When you blow yourself up wiz a lot of ‘ot air and zen release eet out your bottom, Muzzerr’, ah explain,

‘You ‘over above le ground, lark zis’…

Ah am surprised Muzzerr ees no good at eet –
she make a lot of noise but zere eez no lift.

‘Le speed at which ah release all zat air dictates ‘ow fast and ‘ow ‘igh ah go.
Zis eez le law of physics be’ind Jet Propulsion’ ah zay to Muzzerr.

Ah fly across le paddock just lark a jet engine.

Zuddenly la forward motion eez ‘eld in check by le brakes – ah forgot to release zem.

Zen mah front end go up…

and le back end follow too late.

Not everyone eez smart enough to understand physics.
Eet eez very tricky to master.

Le Uncle and ah were busy discussing important stuff lark
‘oo eez le most ‘andsome ‘orze in le paddock (Ah zink we all know ‘oo zat eez)
when Uzzerr Muzzerr arrived.

Ah walk over to greet ‘er.

Ah am just about to ask ‘er ‘oo she think eez le most ‘andsome ‘orze
in le paddock when ah see somezing ‘orrific.

A man’oo look suspiciously lark mah Dad
but ‘oo eez a fashion disaster – zo eet can not be ‘im.

‘Uzzerr Muzzerr’, ah zay, ‘Please tell me zat eez not mah Dad.

Muzzerr wanders over and spies ‘im. Ah can tell she ees shocked.

‘Son’ she zay, ‘Stay where you are, I will deal with this’.

Ah cannot stop looking at le clear violation of le paddock fashion requirements.
Ah would never wear such a costume, but then ah am French, we know better.

Muzzerr take another look. ‘He may have carrots,’ she says hopefully.

Of course zat could change everyzing.

Muzzerr ‘as ‘er carrot radar out. ‘Are you sensing carrots yet?’ ah ask.

We all wait eagerly for le results of Muzzerr’s carrot scan.

As le tension mounts, ah raid la milk bar While Muzzerr ees distracted.

‘It’s enough to make my hair curl’ say Le Uncle. And ‘e eez right.
‘is ‘air ‘as gone all curly.

Suddenly, le results are in, la walking fashion disaster ‘as no carrots.
We are all een shock.
‘Oo dare to visit me wiz zo many pockets yet carry not one carrot.
‘SHAME on YOU’ we all yell.

Ah turn to Muzzerr and apply a liberal amount of Le Slobbeur.

‘He is SLOBBERING all over me again’ she sighs, but ah don’t care,
ah am seizing le moment to ‘ave anuzzer drink.
All zis stress eez driving me to eet.

Muzzerr ‘as been saying ah ’ave been slobbering all over ‘er.

Of course, ah do not slobber, ah slobbeur.

Ah try to explain zat when ah do eet, eet eez le Slobeur.

When she do eet, eet eez slobber no doubt about eet.

Le Slobbeur Muzzerr, zat eez what ah do, YOU ‘oweveur, slobber.

Slobber she say, stop slobbering all over me.

SLOBBEUR ah insist.

‘He slobbers,’ she said to Uzzerr Muzzerr.

Ah French ‘orze does not slobber. Eet eez not possible.
What ah do EEZ SLOBBEUR

And further more, ah zay, ah stand by mah slobbeur.

Ah do NOT slobber on anyone ah say to Uzzerr Muzzerr.

But then ah got bored with being grumpy about slobbeur,
so ah went to watch le shadow puppets inside Le Uncle’s tummy.

Ah do not know ‘oo eez inside of ‘im or ‘ow they got there but they are quite interesting.
Ah zink eet eez a play about le Daily Llama.