We ‘ave moved to our Mid Winter grazing and
ah now ‘ave two girlfriends so, of course, they fart over me all le time.
eet ees not easy being le most popular ‘orze in le ‘ole paddock –
when ah am busy anointing one le other want to be anointed also.
‘Have you seen what your son is up to Merl?’ Le Uncle ask Muzzeur.
‘We have to do something – they are COUGARS!’ growl Muzzeur.
‘Crikey,’ sigh Le Uncle, ‘Cougars you say?’ ‘e is most impressed.
‘He is far too young for the likes of them’ sigh Muzzeur.
‘Cougars,’ sigh Le Uncle, ‘it must be that bloody french accent of his’.
‘Go for eet Son,’ ‘e yell.
Then ‘e add – ‘don’t tell them you’re not really french’.
Ah ‘ave no intention of telling them anything except ‘Sweet Nuzzings’.
Ah start with La Cougar #1. ‘Nuzzing nuzzing sweet nuzzing’ ah say ‘oping Le Uncle was right about this.
It seem to be working when along come Cougar#2, and she do not look ‘appy.
‘Ah am truly le sorry,’ ah say, ‘but ah am le popular ‘orze, er, can you make le appointment?’
‘What do you mean Make an appointment???’ she snarl,
and ah realise this must be le wrong thing to say.
‘Sweet Nuzzing nuzzing nuzzing,’ ah whisper frantically,
Le Uncle ‘as taught me well.
Then she tell Cougar#1 to buggeur off!
‘HE IS MINE!’, she scream.
This wake up mah new friend Booyah. ‘BOOYAH’ ‘e say loudly.
Later on ah ‘ave a lot of making up to do with Cougar#1.
Eet ees ‘ard to manage all these Cougars.
‘Nuzzing nuzzing nuzzing’ ah whisper, ah am straining to look over ‘er neck,
there is a patch of tasty cloveur down there and ah am feeling a bit peckish’.
Ah am about to whisper more but then ah realise ah am stuck and now ah am drooling at le cloveur.
Eet ees quite awkward.
Muzzeur and Le Uncle are watching. ‘It’s disgusting’ shout Muzzeur.
‘Get away from my boy’.
Suddenly ah am een big le trouble with Cougar#1.
She must ‘ave noticed that ah ‘ad drooled all oveur ‘er coat.
Ah am trying to explain but ah can not talk to loudly because
Cougar#2 will not leave us alone.
‘What are you looking at Booyah?’ ah ask crossly as ah try to patch things up with both mah Cougars.
Le Uncle, ‘e is so envious of mah success with la mares, ‘e about to explode.
Ah am far too busy being le most popular ‘orze in le paddock to worry though.
Being popular ees very tiring. Ah think ah need la sleep.
Suddenly ah wake up and there ees la big cougar staring at me, licking ‘er lips.
Ah am afraid. Ah want mah Muzzeur.
Muzzeur come and rescue me and ah ‘ave to listen to a big lecture from ‘er.
On and on she go.
Eet ees not easy being le most ‘andsome and popular ‘orze in le paddock,
so ah go back to sleep.