Ah cannot stand L’imbicile.
Every tarm la Papparazzi appear, ‘e rush oveur to strike le pose.
This is ‘im trying to look intelligent.
It does not work.
‘e fartoberm every farto shoot.
Ah take no notice of ‘im, ah keep l’ead down and le berm up.
This is me taking no notice of anyone.
Ah do not feel lark being fartographed.
Finally ah ‘ave ‘ad enough grass.
Ah wait until Muzzeur is nowhere to be seen and then ah surprise l’imbicile when ah bust out of le tree le spoiling for ler fart.
‘e was not expecting that eh eh eh.
We go ‘ead to ‘ead.
‘Ah must protest most strongly about your fartoberming’ ah say.
La Papparazzi is ‘ere to fartograph me, not you.
‘ ah am le famous one in this paddock, not you’.
‘Le blog is not called ‘L’imbicile of Eyrewell” ah am shouting now.
Being l’Italian imbicile, ‘e do not understand french, so ah feel ah can insult ‘im at no personal risk to le self.
We do some bouncing up and le down.
Ah am enjoying mahself more than I thought ah would
Ah am aware that ‘is lip is le flapping and ‘e no doubt insultme in l’Italian which ah refuse to understand.
“Bleuh bleuh made horse, bleuh bleuh clip clop” ‘e say – that is what it sound lark to me.
As ah take no notice of what ‘e ‘as to say, ‘e yell at me now…
“BLEUH BLEUH CAPPO BLEUH CONTRACTO BLEUH ENFORCO youdickaheada”
‘e ‘uff l’Italian insults in mah general direction as ‘e continue to bounce up and down.
Ah am not impressed with ‘is Italian insult so ah desard then to throw in l’Australian insult ah learn long tarm ago from L’Uncle.
Ah know ‘ow to insult someone.
‘TOSSEURR’ ah yell, ‘You giant TOSSEURR do not talk back to me lark le RAW PRAWN’.
Ah a’ve no idea what le ‘raw prawn’ is but l’Uncle always use that one and certainly, L’Imbicile look suitably insulted.
Then ‘e let me ‘ave it, le torrent of Italian insult fly out of ‘is gob to strike me in l’ear’ole.
Now we fart as though our larf depend on it.
Back and forth we go ‘urling l’insults at each otheur with all le mart.
This is le fart to le death – only le strongest, le most ‘andsome and intelligent ‘orse can win this one. There can only be one winneur ‘ere…
and ‘ere ‘e is…