Zis Morning, ah am annoyed to zee zat zere are not crowds of people
clustering around to zee if ah ‘ave survived le night.

Of course, ah ‘ave survived le Battle of Wounded Knee.
No fence will get le better of me.

Ah check to zee if mah leg iz still attached and ah find zat it eez.

To mah great delight ah zee Uzzerr muzzerr ‘as come to pay ‘er respects.

‘‘Allo Uzzerr Muzzerr ‘ ah zay cheerfully.

Zough not zo cheerfully zat she suspect ah am better already

Because it iz zen zat ah remember ah am wounded and must ‘ave cuddles and carrots if ah am to make a full recovery.
I lie back down and groan and wave mah sore leg around a bit.

It seems to do le trick, Uzzerr Muzzerr rushes over looking all concerned and ‘olds mah ‘ead in ‘er arms and cries over me.
OK Ah may ‘ave exaggerated a bit about le crying.
Zoon ah feel ah might be able to stand if ah try ‘ard.

Ah rock back and forward and increase mah groaning for effect.

‘Oooh’ ah zay, ‘Ooooh it ‘urts’.

‘Ah may need zome ‘elp’ ah zay az ah struggle to mah feet.

Zis effort earns me two carrots sliced thin just le way ah like zem.

Ah belch appreciatively.

Ah am feeling much better but cleverly, ah stay where ah am
and ‘old mah leg up and ah get anuzzer carrot and a big cuddle.

Zuddenly ah spy la cat. Ah give chase.

‘Look’ shrieks Uzzerr Muzzerr, ‘He is so much better today!’
Ah realise ah ‘ave made a big mistake, zo ah start to ‘obble back to ‘er.

Unfortunately, Muzzerr intercepts me.
‘Do not believe that boy’ she says,

‘There is nothing wrong with him, he just likes the attention’.
Ah am mortified.

‘You have got to stop being a such a big clown,’ she said.

‘He is such a naughty little boy’, she sighs. ‘I do not know what to do with him’.

Of course Le Uncle, ‘oo waz nearby had one thing to say about the ‘ole zituation.
‘Crikey’ ‘e zaid.

Muzzerr zen suggested ah spend zome time wiz ‘im.

Naturally ah am very pleased. ‘Can ah? Le Uncle?, Can ah?’

Le Uncle agrees to take me for le rest of le day.

As usual, ‘e soon gets distracted by le girls next door so

Ah sneak up on ‘im and bite ‘im on le bottom.

‘Got you on le bum!’ ah yell.

Ah give ‘im an encouraging kiss.

‘Ah am a WAR ‘ORZE’ ah yell, before pummeling Le Uncle to le ground.
Ah may ‘ave exaggerated about le pummeling.

‘Ah ‘ave forgotten all about le wounded knee

Finally le battle iz won by me, ah finish le coup de grace by pulling Le Uncle’s tail.

Zen ah gallops off before ‘e can catch me.

Once again ah am running faster zan  a speeding pullet,
le Uncle ‘az no idea what went past ‘im.

Tis ah, Zephyrr, Lord LubbaDucky.
Ah am back.

Today, quelle ‘orror, ah nearly lost mah life in le battle of la Wounded knee.

Ah decided to take on a fence – no fence can better of Le Mighty Zephyr.
Zis might look bad to you but, you should zee le fance.

‘What a brave and strong son I have’ zaid mah Muzzerr when she went to look at le scene of le fight.

‘Just look at how he took on this fence and came out alive’ she said, ‘MY son’.

‘Crikey’ zaid le Uncle, ‘is ‘air standing on end wiz le shock of it all.
At least ah zink zat iz ‘iz ‘air – if it iz not, it might be a small ‘airy porcupine.

La Uzzerr Muzzerr came out to apply sum ointment on my wounds.

Being a ‘elpful sort of ‘orze, ah lift mah leg zo she don’t ‘ave to bend zo far.
Now ah walk wiz a limp just like ‘ers.

Ah do not mind all le fuzz

She even get le ‘ose out and ‘ose it down, but ah am a brave ‘orze ‘oo does not flinch away from ‘orror.

Le sight of Uzzerr Muzzerr staring up at me showing me all ‘er teeths  iz ‘orror enough, but still ah do not move.

Besides she remind me what a brave and ‘andsome little boy ah am
and ah ‘ave to agree.

Just between you and me, she could ‘ave added zat ah am also incredibly strong and fast, not to mention brilliant.
All zees zings ah ‘ave ‘eard before of course.

But she didn’t,  zo ah limp away wiz mah wounded knee

‘Ah am off for a lie down’ ah gasp, ‘ah zimply must rest now, a wound like zis could cost me mah life you know’.

Ah lie down and prepare for death.
Bravely pointing out le cause of death to le sheeps  ‘oo ‘ave crowded around.

After ‘alf an ‘our of dying, and impressing le sheeps,
ah get bored and ‘ungry zo ah ‘ave to get up and eat somezing.

Ah did not expect to zee la two Muzzerrs laughing at me.
Zat iz not mah bottom be’ind zem.
It must be le uzzerr little ‘orze sneaking in for a quick drink.
I can not drink anyzing, mah wounds could yet prove mortal.

Today Le Uncle invent a new game we call ‘Doing Nuzzing’.

You zee, Uzzerr Muzzerr rushes out clicking er black box everytime we start galloping about.

So Le Uncle comes up wiz a brilliant plan to gallop about, but az zoon az
Uzzerr Muzzerr comes rushing out to catch le action, we be ‘Doing Nuzzing’.

And zen, when she sits down in le paddock waiting for us to do somezing,
we stand around sniffing le grass.

Ah nearly ruined it one time when ah ‘ad to release zum gas.

Le Uncle iz brilliant at Le Doing Nuzzing Game. “e even looks out into space az if he ‘as no idea Muzzerr is zere.
Muzzerr and ah keep an eye on ‘er.

One time when Uzzerr Muzzerr iz inside,
ah pick up a stick and be chasing Le Uncle and of course,
out she comes, rushing about like a speeding pullet wiz no ‘ead
zo ah stop and hold onto le stick and Do Nuzzing.

Ah just stare at ‘er and she stare back at me.

Le Uncle zaid it waz a Bonza performance.

Zen, az zoon az Uzzer Muzzerr goes back inside because of lack of action,
ah pick up mah ball and chase Le Uncle wiz it

‘Crikey’ ‘e zay, ‘I’m going walkabout’ and off ‘e go flat out round le paddock, wiz me after ‘im.

Of course, we make zo much noise sundering about zat out rushes Uzzer Muzzerr
and we all ‘ave to stand around again and Do Nuzzing.
Ah almost forget to drop le ball.

Almost.

Zo zen ah get le brilliant plan to drop to le ground and look at whatever Le Uncle iz looking at while ah am Doing Nuzzing.

Muzzerr iz standing around staring at nuzzling in particular.
Ah shut my eyes zo ah don’t get distracted.

Madame Magoo stare at me and try to make me laugh

Next minute, ah realise ah ‘ave been asleep for an ‘our and when ah look up, Muzzerr and Le Uncle are looking at me in a concerned way.…

‘Crikey’ zay Le Uncle again, ‘We thought you’d carked it for a minute there mate’.