Zis Morning, ah am annoyed to zee zat zere are not crowds of people
clustering around to zee if ah ‘ave survived le night.

Of course, ah ‘ave survived le Battle of Wounded Knee.
No fence will get le better of me.

Ah check to zee if mah leg iz still attached and ah find zat it eez.

To mah great delight ah zee Uzzerr muzzerr ‘as come to pay ‘er respects.

‘‘Allo Uzzerr Muzzerr ‘ ah zay cheerfully.

Zough not zo cheerfully zat she suspect ah am better already

Because it iz zen zat ah remember ah am wounded and must ‘ave cuddles and carrots if ah am to make a full recovery.
I lie back down and groan and wave mah sore leg around a bit.

It seems to do le trick, Uzzerr Muzzerr rushes over looking all concerned and ‘olds mah ‘ead in ‘er arms and cries over me.
OK Ah may ‘ave exaggerated a bit about le crying.
Zoon ah feel ah might be able to stand if ah try ‘ard.

Ah rock back and forward and increase mah groaning for effect.

‘Oooh’ ah zay, ‘Ooooh it ‘urts’.

‘Ah may need zome ‘elp’ ah zay az ah struggle to mah feet.

Zis effort earns me two carrots sliced thin just le way ah like zem.

Ah belch appreciatively.

Ah am feeling much better but cleverly, ah stay where ah am
and ‘old mah leg up and ah get anuzzer carrot and a big cuddle.

Zuddenly ah spy la cat. Ah give chase.

‘Look’ shrieks Uzzerr Muzzerr, ‘He is so much better today!’
Ah realise ah ‘ave made a big mistake, zo ah start to ‘obble back to ‘er.

Unfortunately, Muzzerr intercepts me.
‘Do not believe that boy’ she says,

‘There is nothing wrong with him, he just likes the attention’.
Ah am mortified.

‘You have got to stop being a such a big clown,’ she said.

‘He is such a naughty little boy’, she sighs. ‘I do not know what to do with him’.

Of course Le Uncle, ‘oo waz nearby had one thing to say about the ‘ole zituation.
‘Crikey’ ‘e zaid.

Muzzerr zen suggested ah spend zome time wiz ‘im.

Naturally ah am very pleased. ‘Can ah? Le Uncle?, Can ah?’

Le Uncle agrees to take me for le rest of le day.

As usual, ‘e soon gets distracted by le girls next door so

Ah sneak up on ‘im and bite ‘im on le bottom.

‘Got you on le bum!’ ah yell.

Ah give ‘im an encouraging kiss.

‘Ah am a WAR ‘ORZE’ ah yell, before pummeling Le Uncle to le ground.
Ah may ‘ave exaggerated about le pummeling.

‘Ah ‘ave forgotten all about le wounded knee

Finally le battle iz won by me, ah finish le coup de grace by pulling Le Uncle’s tail.

Zen ah gallops off before ‘e can catch me.

Once again ah am running faster zan  a speeding pullet,
le Uncle ‘az no idea what went past ‘im.

Tis ah, Zephyrr, Lord LubbaDucky.
Ah am back.