Speaking Australian

As usual Le Uncle iz in big trouble wiz Muzzerr.
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Muzzerr and Le Uncle were playing le ‘Doing Nuzzing’ game.
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It got boring so ah suggest we do zumzing.
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‘Anyzing’ ah zay, ‘ah do not care’
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Ah point out zat Le Uncle’s ex girlfriend next door likes to do stuff wiz
Le Uncle all le time.
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Muzzerr does not appear to be az impressed az ah thought she would be.
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Ah catch Le Uncle’s eye –  ‘e look like ‘e ‘az just ‘ad a mouthful of worming paste.
‘e ‘az not even anyzing to zay in Australian for once.
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Zo ah zaid it for ‘im.
Cri Key’ ah zaid, ‘ You big woombart, if you arse me, you are up sitcreak wizout a saddle’.  ‘Ah do not know what it mean but it le first zing Australian
zat come to mah mind.
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‘WHAT’ roar Muzzerr? ‘Up Shit Creek? – did YOU teach my boy to say this?
‘er eyes are all wide and googley and she iz snorting up a storm.
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Now Le Uncle iz in zerious trouble.
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Ah am interested to zee if she breath fire all over ‘im,
but ah pretend ah am not interested at all.
Ah practice opening le gate.
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‘I cannot believe you would teach him to say that’, yell mah Muzzerr.
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‘Ow waz ah supposed to know zat speaking Australian iz a ‘uge crime?’
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