Ah waz a bad boy so ah got told off by my Muzzerr AND Le Uncle.

My Muzzerr even look le other way when Le Uncle bite mah bum.

‘e apologise straight away and say ‘e ‘ave to bite me on my Muzzerrs orderz.

What did ah do zat waz zo bad ah ‘ear you ask?
(Apart from sabotage le family portrait yesterday)

Ah may ‘ave got a bit grumpy wiz mah Muzzerr when she would not play wiz me.

Ah also may ‘ave smeared a gob-full of slime out of le pond all over mah Muzzerrs nice shiny coat.

‘Ow waz ah to know she would get zo upset about zat?

Mah Muzzerr dragged me over to my Uzzerr Muzzer after zat.

Here, she say, this is a very naughty boy, you deal with him.

Ah ‘ad to dress up in mah ‘alter and pose for a photo.
Ah look like a dweeb.

Zen ah waz made to apologize again.

Ah am getting good at looking apologetic even when ah am not.

Today, mah Muzzerr and Le Uncle getting on zo well some exceptionally stupeed person suggest a nice family portrait.

Of course, family portraits are training ground for saboteurs like myself

Zo once everyone line up it is simply a matter of…

It get boring standing around being all prim and propeur so ah do not know what got into me but suddenly ah can not h’elp mahself.

Ah know mah Muzzerr is getting crabby zo ah try to get ‘er to ‘ave a kiss…

My Muzzerr is getting crabbier by le minute…

But ah am ‘aving too much fun to notice the warning signs.
Finally ah announce in a big loud zilly voice zat it must be opening time at le Milky Bar…

and mah Muzzerr finally snap and she drag me off and give me a ‘uge telling off. Ah can’t even blame Le Uncle for zis one.

Today ah zaw a ‘uge pooch in mah paddock zo…

Naturally ah found a big stick and ah chase ‘im off.
Ah am not afraid of a big dog.

Zen ah ‘eard mah Muzzerr bragging about me to le girlz next door.

On and on she went…mah zon zis and mah zon zat….

And zen, quelle ‘orour, she make a joke about ME!!!

And zey all laugh so ‘ard ‘er teethz nearly fall out

Ah so embarrassed ah decide to teach ‘er a lesson zo ah die right zere between ‘er and Le Uncle.

Only problem iz, when she realize ah am dead, she blame Le Uncle az usual
and ‘e in big trouble again.

Zo az ah lie being dead, ah realize…

It iz time to stop being dead.

But she do not notice.

Zo ah ‘ave to get up zo she realize ah am not dead any more

But zum ‘ow it still zeem to be Le Uncle Persil’s fault zat I ‘nearly’ died zo

Rather zan take Le blame mahzelf, which would be stupid, ah blame ‘im too.

And zen mah Muzzerr drag me over to mah Uzzerr Muzzerr …

And just between you and me, mah Uzzer Muzzerr like to kiz and cuddle far too much.