Today, zomezing new ‘appen…

Le Uncle Persil came to live wiz uz.

My Muzzerr and ah watched with trepidation as ‘e check out ‘er ‘oovering…

Just between you and me ah have to zay zat my Muzzer is obsezzed wiz mah Uncle.

Don’t go near him she said, of course I said I would not do such a zing. He he eh.

At least zat is what I tell err.

She believe me too.

Zen, because ah cannot resizt, ah ask err – Muzzer, ah zaid, is ee my Fazzer?

Lord knows ee is andzome enough.

Good grief NO! she said, he certainly is not, I would never go out with the likes of him, he, she said, is Australian you know.

And she led me away.

Le Uncle Persil, ee is a cheeky orze, ee zen blew err a big lipsmacking kiss.

Ah ope ah can be just like im when ah grow up. Ptup ptup, note to zelf, find out from le Uncle Persil exactly ow to kiss – and should ah use my tongue or no?