Today, waz an exciting day...
My Muzzerr and Le Uncle and ah, ‘ad a picnic in a new paddock.
There were other ‘orzes ‘aving a picnic on the other zide of le fence, we could ‘ear all zere raucous be’aviour.
Zen Le Uncle made a big mistake.
‘E recognise an old girlfriend through le fence and ‘e call ‘er…
Of course my Muzzerr notice this and she stop eating.
Thiz iz never a good zign, even ah know zat.
Just between you and ah, My Muzzerr waz beginning to be OK about Le Uncle until ‘e started to make le phone callz to ‘iz old girlfriend.
Next zing I know ah am being dragged away from Le Uncle again and my Muzzerr, she iz shouting ‘orrible stuff at la ‘tart’ next door.
I waz zo embarrassed…
Ah sneak back later and talk to ‘er through le trees.
She iz very nice. Ah tell ‘er zat zere iz nothing wrong with being ‘an old slapper’.
Then she smile at me and it waz ‘anus orribilus’.
Le Uncle Persil zaid ah probably shouldn’t ‘ave said zat.
Zen along came La Muzzerr and Le Uncle Persil zuddenly very busy doing other stuff.
Later thiz day, My Muzzerr and Le Uncle get a manicure but everyone ignore me zo naturally ah pretend ah am dead.
Zis always getz attention ezpeically from Mah Zecond Muzzerr. She panic about everyzing. Zen ah actually fell asleep waiting for everyone to notice ah ‘ave died az usual and next zing ah know ah am getting a manicure while ah am asleep pretending to ‘ave died…
Ah am extremely clever and open mah eyez just a little bit to zee what iz going on zo le manicurist still believe ah am dead and ‘e carry on.
It feel zo nice I stay where ah am but zum’ow le manicurist notice ah am not dead and ah am rudely made to get up.
My Muzzerr and ah zen go and get a feed.
She iz still pizzed at Le Uncle about la ex-girlfriend next door, ‘oo iz a blonde eggshell Le Uncle zay.
LeUncle try to explain Madame Blonde Eggshell not a patch on my Muzzerr.
But My Muzzerr zay ‘e can get a dog.
Zo ‘e does.
