Today ah zaw a ‘uge pooch in mah paddock zo…

Naturally ah found a big stick and ah chase ‘im off.
Ah am not afraid of a big dog.

Zen ah ‘eard mah Muzzerr bragging about me to le girlz next door.

On and on she went…mah zon zis and mah zon zat….

And zen, quelle ‘orour, she make a joke about ME!!!

And zey all laugh so ‘ard ‘er teethz nearly fall out

Ah so embarrassed ah decide to teach ‘er a lesson zo ah die right zere between ‘er and Le Uncle.

Only problem iz, when she realize ah am dead, she blame Le Uncle az usual
and ‘e in big trouble again.

Zo az ah lie being dead, ah realize…

It iz time to stop being dead.

But she do not notice.

Zo ah ‘ave to get up zo she realize ah am not dead any more

But zum ‘ow it still zeem to be Le Uncle Persil’s fault zat I ‘nearly’ died zo

Rather zan take Le blame mahzelf, which would be stupid, ah blame ‘im too.

And zen mah Muzzerr drag me over to mah Uzzerr Muzzerr …

And just between you and me, mah Uzzer Muzzerr like to kiz and cuddle far too much.