Ah ‘ave a visit from Jenny today.

Ah teach ‘er a zing or two.

She try zome face furniture on me.

And zen she take it off and we go for a walk.

She tell me ah am le most clever little man le ‘ole wide world and ah ‘ave to agree.

Ah really am a very clever ‘orze.

Today ah can’t ‘elp but notice zat my Uzzer Muzzer sneak into le paddock and zit down to spy on me.

Zo, ah zink to mahzelf, ah will outwit ‘er.
Zo I walk over, very casually and pretend to die, on top of ‘er.

She ‘ave no idea ah am really alive, zo clever am ah.

She staring right at me but ah am good at being dead.

Pretty zoon ah actually fall asleep. Le Uncle zay later, zat my snoring alerted mah uzzer Muzzer to le fact zat ah am not really dead.

Ah zuddenly realise Uzzer Muzzer ‘as got up and left!

‘Ang on a minute! ah yell, You can’t just walk away!

But apparently, she can.

Today ah wake up and my Muzzerr ah zee iz being very lazy.

She should be ‘oovering le paddock but no, zere she iz, snoozing in le zun.
So ah decide to ‘elp ‘er get up.

Get up muzzerr, I zay, Get up, ah need a drink and zere is ‘oovering to be done…

My Muzzerr, she stub out ‘er cigerette and ‘eave ‘erself to ‘er feet…

Ah may ‘ave exagerated about le cigerette.

Ah do know zo, zat without me, erzon, ‘elping ‘er to ‘er feet, she might never ‘ave got up. Ah am a big ‘elp.

Finally she stand…

Even Bedlamb, the sheep is impressed.