Le Uncle Persil told me ah should present Uzzerr Muzzerr wiz a gift.

‘Ere’, ah said, ‘you ‘ave zis, it taste ‘orrible’.

Ah could not believe she did not want  ‘er gift.
‘Oo does not lark a gift?’

Ah went back to ‘ave ah talk to Le Uncle about zis. ‘Oi’, ah said,
‘you told me to give ‘er a gift but she do not lark eet’.

‘Crikey mart’ ‘e replied, ‘no need ta chucka wobb lee’

‘Ya don’t hear me whinjinon about eet dooya?’ ‘e say.

On and on went Le Uncle, of course ah ‘ave no idea what
‘e eez saying ah do not understand Australian but ah know
a good game of ‘ad it up to ‘ere when ah see one.

‘e stops talking so ah give ‘im a kiss. ‘E so surprised ‘is ‘air stand on end.

‘e must be getting soft een ‘is old age because ‘e do nuzzing.

Zo ah kiss ‘im again. ‘e look a bit embarrassed.

‘Marrrt’ ‘e say, ‘you blah blah stop thees keesing lark’.
Because ‘e look so serious ah put on mah serious look too.
Ah still ‘ave no idea what ‘e just said.

Zen ‘e nudges me and pretty soon we are playing  a serious game of ‘ad it up to ‘ere.

‘MUZZERR’ ah yell, ‘as ‘ad eet up to ERE!’

“Where?” shout Le Uncle.

“Has she had it up to here?”

“or here?”

“what about here?”

‘Bonza’ ‘e roar, ‘You luddle rippa’

So ah am a Luddlerippa now, ah thought ah ‘ad become a Gulding.
Ah was zinking about this when Le Uncle made la last move and won le game.

And zen, all of a sudden; quelle ‘orreur; ‘e, kiss me!