On Saturday, I meet mah Aunt from Australia.
She eez no relation to Le Uncle despite coming from Australia and she does not even look lark ‘im either, ‘owever, zay ‘ave one zing een common.
Zey are both very rude. She approach me, LORD LubbaDuck, wiz ‘er cap still on.

At least she bow down to me.

Az she eez Australian,  ah decide to teach ‘er ‘ow to approach
a ‘orze of mah importance.

‘You must remove your ‘at’, ah zay.

Ah admit eet eez quite a difficult ‘at to remove

But ah show ‘er ‘ow eet eez done.

‘Zere’ ah zay, ‘zis eez not a joke’. But she zome’ow zink eet eez hilarious.
Ah am not laughing.
Zen she put ‘er ‘at back on!

Zo once again, ah a’ve to remove eet for ‘er.

La Australian Imbecile zeem incapable of removing eet ‘erself!

‘Zere’ ah zay, ‘do not let me catch you wearing zis in mah presence again’.

Zis time ah am clever and refuse to give eet back to ‘er.

Incredibly, she try to wrest eet from me! Does she not realise ‘oo ah am?
She pose for photos wiz me but ah keep ah a tight ‘old on ‘er ‘at.

Two big ‘orzes went past today.
Zey were being chased by a man ‘oo waz perched on a seat on wheels.
We all saw eet.

Muzzerr and ah ran away before le seat on wheels could chase us.

Of course ah demonstrated what would ‘appen if le seat on wheels came anywhere near me.

No wheely seat will get le better of Lord lubbaDuck.

We all went back for anuzzerr look.

Ah pretend to be chased by le chair on wheels.

Zen Muzzerr and ah race each uzzerr around le paddock.

Of course ah am much faster zan Muzzerr. She ‘as a big bottom to cart around.

Le Uncle mentioned zis to ‘er and Muzzerr went nuts.

Quelle ‘oreour!
Ah now know zat when Muzzerr eez in zis kind of mood eet eez best to run away.

As usual ah run faster zan any speeding pullet.
Ah do not know why zey are supposed to be zo fast. Ah ave not met one ah cannot outrun yet.

Of course, ah do not go far – ah do not lark to miss out on anyzing.

Zen ah decide to ‘elp Muzzerr ‘oo eez still chasing Le Uncle.

We gallop after ‘im but as usual, when ‘e eez in trouble, ‘e ‘as disappeared.

Le Uncle can go faster zan a speeding full grown rooster, we ‘ave no idea
where ‘e eez.

Muzzerr and ah play ‘over ‘orze and suddenly ah realise Le Uncle eez be’ind
us all along.

Ah pretend ah ‘ave not noticed ‘im and do not tell Muzzerr.
We follow Muzzerr’s big bottom.

Eet really eez a big bottom.

Ah am getting gelded zis week.

Ah am not worried because Le Uncle ‘as explained it all to me.

‘Son’, ‘e zay, ‘you are about to lose your balls’.

Ah only ‘ave two but ah am a grown up ‘orze now so ah do not zem.
Ah ‘ardly ever play wiz zem now.

Ah point zis out to Le Uncle and ah show ‘im mah balls.

‘Crikey’ zay Le Uncle.

And when ah explain ah do not need zem any more,
‘e so impressed with ‘ow well ah am taking it, ‘e do not know what to zay.

Ah will not miss zis ball at all.

Zis one, ‘owever  iz lark an old friend, but ah will cope

Ah walk away from mah balls.
Some guy will come and collect zem on Monday.