The House Party and the Daily Llama

It is Moanday Morning and ah am ‘ungoveur.
UzzMuzz arrives early and ah ‘ave to get out of bed.
‘God Moaning UzzMuzz’ ah croak.
Ah am not looking le best.
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Mah yard ‘as become ‘Party Central’, everyone come ‘ere because of mah celebrity status.
Ah am le ‘orze to know. We ‘ave ‘orse Parties. ‘ZEPHYR IS IN DA ‘ORSE’ ah yell and le party begin.
Le new best friend ‘Derp’ is most impressed. This is ‘im, being impressed.
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Le neighbour Neddy is le nosey parkeur and quite frankly eat too much cloveur and make le dicke of ‘imself.
“Are we partaying tonight? Are we? Are we?’ ‘e constantly at me.
Neitheur of them botheur to ‘elp me clean up after le party.
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Ah did not botheur eitheur. It will give UzzMuzz something to do.
This is le ‘Not Botheured’ look.
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It so packed in da ‘orse, noone notice when le Daily Llama turn up uninvited with la girls next door. Le Daily Llama is l’uge know-it-all.
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‘Who the ‘ell invite le Daily Llama to le party?’ ah inquire ‘What le ‘ell.’
At least ‘e bring girls.
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We party lark it narnteen narnty four, we ‘ave ‘orse music pumping and we all get so wasted on le cloveur and lucerne ‘ay nobody can remember what they did or what they said.
For some reason this moaning ah notice la girls next door are no longeur talking to me.
Ah blame  le Daily Llama.
‘Excuse moi Girls,’ ah murmeur as ah walk out with Monsieur RoarEee le next day, ‘ah am le working ‘orze now, ah work ‘ard and ah play ‘ard; to quote le Daily Llama,  ”your prime purpose is to wait in larn”.
Ah am pretty sure this what ‘e say.

Then, on le way to work,  ah notice le Daily Llama Quelle ‘orreur! ‘e look terrible.
Ah ‘ope ‘e does not notice me. Ah tippy toe past ‘im. Ah do not need any more of ‘is advarce.
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UzzMuzz is still lecturing me as le Monsieur adjust le new limpet on mah back.
‘You are bleuh bleuh naughty boy bleuh party big mess bleuh’ she say. Or something lark that, ah do not listen, ah am wondering ‘ow many oats in le bag of chaff’.
Monsieur Roar Eee ‘elp le new Limpet  on to mah back. Ah must ‘ave worn out l’old Limpet.
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Ah do not lark this Limpet. All l’air stand on end.
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‘e is quickly wrestled to le ground and more experienced Limpet is ‘elped on to mah back.
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This is more lark it
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Le Daily Llama is being le big nosey parkeur so ah give ‘im something to watch.
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‘e ‘as neveur seen anything lark it. Ah am defy gravity as well as UzzMuzz.
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Then ah try out some new moves.
‘Quote this Daily Llama’ ah whoop.
Monsieur Roar Eee can not believe ‘is eyes, “watch and learn Monsieur’ ah yell.
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Then ah remembeur something ah meant to ask le Daily Llama…
Ah stop what ah am doing immediately.img_1243

Ah ‘ave to ask ‘im, it will not wait. Everybody say ‘e know everything about everything.
‘Daily Llama’ ah say, ‘When you find le bag of oats and it ‘ave note that say ‘OPEN HERE’, what happen if you open it somewhere else?’
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