Ah ‘eard le ‘ole country ees celebrating mah birth.

Eet ees a bit on le late side, but ah do not mind too much.

Muzzerr and ah practice posing for le royal photo opportunity.

We expect la ‘oardes of paparazzi to turn up any time.

And we are prepared for them. For now we ‘ave to make do with Uzzerr Muzzerr.

Muzzerr, she ees very proud. She ‘as been waiting for zis moment.

Ah practice mah Royal stance. When ah rule le country, all le dairy farms will become le carrot farms.

Even Le Uncle ees in on eet. ‘Crikey’ ‘e say, ‘those paparazzi blokes will be in for a right old earbashing from the old sheila’

As usual ah ‘ave no idea what ‘e eez on about.

‘What ees that you say Le Uncle. HUH?’

‘Oi was just saying that watching your Mother be interviewed on the idiot box
will be about as funny as a fart in a stable’ ‘e said.

‘That does not sound very funny to me, Le Uncle’ ah said.

‘Exactly moi son’ ‘e say, ‘and she’ll cause a bit of a kerfuffle
if there’s no lamingtons in the green room you know’.

‘e ‘as lost me.
Ah am bored with trying to understand Le Uncle’s Australian speech.
So ah fill mah mouths up with water.

Ah am  busy trying to see eef ah can roll my tongue
up like a straw and slurp water up it.

Ah uncurl mah tongue and le water falls off eet in a big waterfall.

Ah close mah mouths and ‘old most of le water
een mah cheeks and try to make Le Uncle think ah am still listening to ‘im.
Ah ‘ave mah royal listening face on but mah lips they start leeking le water.

Ah wonder eef loose lips sink ships because they leak.
Ah make a note to ask Uzzerr Muzzerr eef ships even ‘ave lips.

Le Uncle ees walking off when ‘e turns back to
stare at me out of le corner of ‘is eye.

Fortunately ah ave now stopped leaking and am
able to give ‘im mah most intelligent look.
Thees ees le look, ah decide that ah will use for all mah Royal Portraits.
And ah still ‘ave some water stored in le royal cheek pouches.