It look like being a very boring day
until Uzzerr Muzzerr came to clean le paddock and Le Uncle make up a new game.

‘Mate, follow moi lead’, ‘e say.

‘CRIKEY’ ‘e yell, ‘Maaaate!’ and ’e ees spitting something out all over le ground.

‘What, what are we looking at Le Uncle?’ ah murmer,
and then ah spit all over le ground too.

‘Oi just copped a gobfull of Patagonian Tree Bear’
croak  Le Uncle, ‘the Lesser Spotted variety’. Then ‘e whisper to me, ‘quick mate, poke yer tongue out and groan’.

Muzzerr ees giving us le Look.

Ah give eet right back to ‘er.

And then ah do as Le Uncle say to do. ‘Oooh arrr oooh’ ah say.

Le Uncle stick ‘is tongue out at me and ‘e wink.

Uzzerr Muzzerr continue to clean le paddock and ignore me.
Ah moan some more and roll mah tongue out again.

Ah ‘ave to peek around Muzzerr’s big bottom to see eef Uzzerr Muzzerr
can see me clearly.

She can, so ah duck back. ‘Ooooh arrrr ooooh’ ah groan.

Then ah lean against Muzzerr for effect.
Muzzerr ees getting cross but ah don’t care.

‘Persil,’ she say to Le Uncle, ‘stop egging the boy on,
he is very impressionable and you are not helping’.

But some’ow mah tongue, eet ees stuck to Muzzerr’s big bottom while ah am being impressionable.

‘Muzzerr’ ah say, ‘Ah cannot ‘elp eet, mah tongue ees stuck. You ‘ave a sticky bottom’.
Uzzerr Muzzerr continue to clean le paddock, she do not seem to care mah tongue ees stuck.

‘Don’t be such a silly little boy,’ Muzzerr say, ‘when will you grow up?’. But ah am too busy being impressionably stuck to Muzzerr’s big ‘airy bottom to answer that one.

‘Uzzerr Muzzerr’ sigh Muzzerr, ‘please will you take this hairy little boy and do something with him. He is being a pain in the bum’.

Le Uncle ees watching and laughing into ‘is ‘ay.
’You’re a bloody legend’ ‘e chuckle as ah continue being impressionable.

Ah then notice le ‘orze across le road ees giving me ‘is attention
but ah am not sure ah want eet so ah stop what ah am doing.

‘Of course, by impressionable, she mean ‘eroic’ ah say to ‘im.
‘Muzzerr does not ‘ave mah extensive vocabulary but ah know what she mean’.

Ah stand and be all quiet.
That gets Uzzer Muzzerr’s attention, she rush over and eet ees cuddle time.
Le Uncle ees stuffing ‘is face and ignoring everyone.
Because ‘e ees Australian, ‘e get embarrassed about le cuddles.
Being French, ah do not mind a well earned cuddle and ah kiss.
Ah accept mah cuddles with all le grace of a Impressionable Leetle Tossa,
which ees what Le Uncle say ah am.