Eet eez raining and Le Uncle and Bedlamb and ah
ah shooting le breeze and telling jokes.

Ah tell le first joke.
‘A human walks into a smart stable.
The horse says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a carrot.”
‘Yeah, go on’ say Le Uncle.

Ah continue.
‘The human goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a bag of carrots.
He goes back in and says to the horse: “This alright?”
‘Crikey’ say Le Uncle, ‘A whole bag, that’s a fair suck of the sav’.

‘Zat eez not le joke part’, ah zay.
‘You’re right Son’, zay Le Uncle,
‘There is nothing funny about a bag of carrots, Carry on’.

But eet eez too late, ah ‘ave lost mah Mojo’
Besides, le sun ‘as come out and Uzzerr Muzzerr comes in to undress us.
She leave a ‘alter on le fence zo ah get eet for ‘er.
Ah am a ‘elpful sort of ‘orze.

‘‘Ere’, Uzzerr Muzzerr ah zay, ‘

And zen ah realise ah should probably not be so ‘elpful,
she will expect eet all le time.

Ah do not know what to do. Le rope eez in mah mouths already.

Zuddenly ah ‘ave a brilliant idea.
Ah am a brilliant ‘orze.

Ah swing le rope, ‘igher and ‘igher, ah am going to
rope le sun so eet will not go away ever again.

But instead, le rope attack me an ‘it me in le nose.
Ah drop le rope and ah need a cuddle.

‘You zee,’ yell mah Muzzerr, ‘What did I tell you about playing with ropes?
You are a naughty, hairy little boy’.

But ah am upset, ah ‘ave been attacked by a big rope through no fault of mah own

In future, ah will make sure zat mah Muzzerr’s big bottom eez
between me and any rope.