Muzzeurr is lame and everybody blame me except Muzzeurr.

‘You are a very naughty young man, but I place the blame firmly on your Uncle’ Muzzeurr say.

‘Bleuh bleuh, on and on she go, L’Uncle nod and ah pretend we listen to ‘er.

Of course, we are not, ‘oweveurr, we watch ‘er in case she release ‘er ‘Muzzeur’s wrath’.

‘Fair dinkum, oi was joking when oi said you should give her a kickupthearse’.

‘Ow was ah supposed to know this joke?
‘It was bloody funny though mate’ ‘e whisper.

Muzzeurr ‘ave too much attention.
She ‘as  massage twice le day and now she wear la poultarse.
Ah would lark to wear la poultarse, why can not ah ‘ave one?

‘It is a Poultice’.

‘That is what ah say Muzzeurr, you ‘ave le poultarse’.

‘POUL-TICE’ she yell, ‘at least pronounce it properly Son’.

Even L’Uncle is grumpy about all le attention Muzzeurr get.
‘She is prancing around here wearing that poultarse like a kookaburra in a ball gown’ ‘e grump.

‘POUL-TICE it is a POUL-TICE’ she say, ‘and I HAVE to have it applied because somebody tried to KICK MY ARSE’.

‘This is getting embarrassing. Muzzeurr  is on le drug for le swollen butt cheek.
She can not ‘andle ‘er drug. Ah should take it for ‘er.
Once again, because of Muzzeurr, ah am mortified.
‘ANNUS ‘ORRIBILIS’ ah sigh loudly.

Muzzeur suddenly start le giggling.

She can not stop. She ‘eave great gaffaw afteur gaffaw.

Now she snort ‘er mirth.
‘ERMERGRED Zephyr,’ she bray, ‘I can NOT believe you just said that’.

Ah ‘ave no idea what she is on about. L’Uncle and ah ‘ave ‘ad enough of ‘er and ‘er stupidity.

Finally she gasp – ‘You should not talk about your Uncle’s bottom like that’ she say, ‘though it is true’.