Ah am about to be le unwilling participant on le ‘Classical Dressage Clinic’.
Ah can not see le point of it, ah know it all already.
L’Uncle pull me aside to give me one of ‘is lectures.
‘Now look here Son’ ‘e start off, ‘Oi know it’s dressage and no good Australian horse should have to put heemself through that but you need to obey the rules and apploi yourself for once’.

‘Of course L’Uncle, ah would normally apply mahself’ ah say ”oweveurr, ah am French therefore these rule you speak of, do not apply to me’.
Eh eh eh, ah ‘ave no intention of ‘applying’ mahself.

‘You need to stop being such a bloody smart arse’ ‘e yell, ‘your Other Mother works bloody bleuh bleuh keep you in the stoil bleuh bleuh bleuh accustomed to’.

Quelle ‘orreur, ‘ow does ‘e know?
‘e is about to give me le big Australian lecture and ah will be killed by boredom .’Don’t come the raw prawn at me’ ‘e add.

Ah try to get ‘im to do le ‘okey tokey with me.
‘Put your right ‘oof in’ ah sing.
‘CUT IT OUT’ ‘e roar and ‘e mean it this tarm.

‘OK L’Uncle, ah promise ah will be on le BEST be’aviour on le clinic’.
‘ow ‘ard can that be ah wondeur….