Such is le demand for mah wisdom and ‘andsomness
that eet ees ‘ard to find time to even scratch mah berm.
Thees ah am reminded of once again when ah was rudely interrupted by another visiteur.

Eet ees mah Tante Roz.
‘My oh my’ she gush, ‘what a big boy you have become’.
Ah wait patiently for ‘er to say something about ‘ow cleveur and ‘andsome
ah ‘ave also become.

Finally, ah ‘ave to remind ‘er. ‘av you forgotten something Tante?’ ah say.
She keep staring at me with those beeg dumb eyes of ‘ers.

She ees obviously, not very cleveur so ah ‘ave to whisper een ‘er ear.
‘You ‘ave not seen a more ‘andsome and cleveur big ‘orze’ ah murmer.

Ah geev ‘er a leetle kiss and ruffle ‘er ‘air, to encourage ‘er.

Then, because all mah visitors lately ‘ave wanted to
inspect mah teefs, ah show them to ‘er.
‘Look,’ ah say, ‘look at mah teefs’. Ah did not do thees for mah last visiteur.
‘That ees because, ‘e ask me for a look so ah, naturally, refuse.
Eet ees mah right to refuse.
Thees time, eet ees different. Ah offeur.

‘Ooooh’ she gasp, ‘what a fine set of teeth you have Zephyr!’

‘ere,’ ah say, ‘check out mah bottom teefs also’.

Ah show them to le birds in le trees. Apparently, birds do not ‘ave teefs.
Ah bet they wish they ‘ad teefs lark mine.
‘Ah do not show mah teefs to just anyone’, ah say.

At this, le Uncle look up from ‘is ‘oovering.
‘Yeah right,’ ‘e say, ‘just ask Andrew, the vet’.