Evidence of Le Kiss

Somebody ‘oo wear white lipsteeck ‘as been kissing Le Uncle
so Muzzerr, she ees not ‘appy.
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Of course eet ees up to me to defend Muzzerr’s ‘onour.
So ah challenge Le Uncle to la fart.
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So‘, ah yell, mostly for Muzzer’s benefeet,
‘you must fart with me’.
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Ah ‘ave ‘ad eet up to ‘ere ah yell; again, so Muzzerr can ‘ear me.
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Eet all start when Muzzerr note Le Uncle ‘as white lippysteeck all over ‘is face.
Nothing get past Muzzerr, ah know thees from past experience.
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Le Uncle say ‘e know nothing about eet. But we can see ‘e ees guilty.
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Of course, ah know nothing about eet.
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White lippysteeck would be a fashion disaster.
And being french, ah know all about fashion.
‘oo could be so fashion impeeded ah wonder.
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Ah decide to find out.
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Ah ‘ave not got far een mah search when suddenly ah am thinking about turtles
and ‘ow come they carry a stable around with them.
Ah pretend ah am carrying an entire stable around on mah back.
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Ah wonder eef there are any turtles een le forest.
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Then ah notice Muzzerr ees watching me.
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And so ees Le Uncle and ah remember mah mission
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‘Do not worry Muzzerr,’ ah say, ‘ah will find Les Girl with le lippysteeck’.
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‘Le Uncle,’ ah whisper, ‘Where ees La Girl?’
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‘Please Le Uncle,’ ah beg, ‘ah must know where she ees, she will need a kiss from me’.
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‘Even eef ‘er taste een lippysteeck ees not so good’ ah say, ‘ah will give ‘er a french kiss to make ‘er fall een love with me’.
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Le Uncle swears on ‘ees larf ‘e ‘as ‘ad nothing to do with Les Girls’
but le evidence ees clear… Somebody ‘as been kissing Le Uncle.
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One day soon, ‘e will spill le beans and when ‘e does, ah will be ready to kiss Les Girls mahself.
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