Muzzerr ‘as been away so today, she suddenly appear.
We all rush over to find out  eef she ‘as carrots.
Monsieur Paterson race a’ead, ‘e ees very keen on le carrots.

‘Bonjour Uzzerr Muzzerr’ ah say casually, ‘So, where are mah carrots?’

But ah do not sense a single carrot.

Le Uncle ‘as ‘is ‘opeful carrot face on too.

‘e blame Monsieur Paterson. ‘e got to Muzzerr first and clearly ate all le carrots.
We all blame Monsieur Paterson. Le Uncle tell ‘im to ‘pees orrf’.

Uzzerr Muzzerr ees showing me ‘er teefs.

So ah show ‘er mine.

‘ere’, Uzzerr Muzzerr, ah say, ‘ah got teefs too’.

Then she open ‘er mouf wide and show me all ‘er teefs.
So ah do le same.

Then we show our teefs to les girls next door.

Ah do not know why we are showing our teefs to everyone but ah do not mind.
Ah a’ve clean teefs

‘Aye girls’, ah yell, ‘look at mah teefs’.

‘LOOK AT THEM’.

Muzzerr ‘as been embarressing me again.

I can not believe ‘er sometimes.
Even Monsieur Paterson can not believe ‘is ears.

‘PERSIL,’ yell mah Muzzerr, ‘PERRRSIL’

Le Uncle ees ‘iding be’ind a tree. ‘e ees not going to come out.
Once again ‘e ees een big trouble for doing nuzzing.
We do not blame ‘im for ‘iding be’ind le tree.

‘PERRSIL BEAUCOUP!‘ she bellow, ‘you come out here right now!’

‘Ahhh now would you listen to dat’ say Monsieur Paterson.
‘Tis da dulcet tones of a glorious mare’.
All ah can ‘ear ees a fog’orn.

‘Your flattery won’t work with me‘ shout Muzzerr,
‘You and that little Australian pony have been a bad influence on my son’.

‘Oh now, surely not’, say Monsieur Paterson,
‘your son never listens to us,
he is french, we can not be influencing da french’.
‘Ah do not listen to anyone,’ ah add ‘elpfully.

Muzzerr, stopped her shouting and looked ‘ard at us both.
‘hmmm, you’re right, Danny Boy, he does not listen to anyone’.

‘Ees this a good thing?’ ah ask Monsieur Paterson.
Fortunately ‘e ees ready to defend mah ‘onour.
‘Oi tink you’ll find da lad always listens to you now,Merlot,’
‘e say smoothly.

‘That’s because I am His Mother’ she reply and ah am relieved to see she ‘as calmed right down.

‘and a rather fabulous and very beautiful Mother you are my lass’ ‘e say. Now ‘e ees flattening ‘er for all ‘e ees worth. Ah say nothing.

‘Oh Lordy, it is a bit embarressing isn’t it,’ she say.
Ah can not believe she ‘as been taken een like that.

Le Uncle appears from be’ind ‘is tree.
‘You should be ashamed of yourself Merl’, ‘e say,
‘you’ve been behaving like a snake in patterned pyjamas all morning’.

Muzzerr got le giggles then.
‘Oh lordy’ she gaffawed, ‘a snake in patterned pyjamas,
imagine that…me!’

Ah am so embarrassed ah do not where to turn –
even Monsieur Paterson know when to clamp ‘is teefs shut.

‘MWHA HA HAAAAAAAAA’ goes Muzzerr.
‘Oh Lordy, what are we talking here? Houndstooth? Hawaian?’

Ah ‘ave no idea what she ees on about but Le Uncle
and Monsieur Paterson are some’ow, miraculously off le ‘oof.
‘and dat Son,’ say Monsieur Paterson, ‘is how de Oirish handle a grumpy mare’.