Today ah try to put on a shadow puppet show but Le Uncle will not stay still.

Ah decide to pretend ah am ‘im. Ah do mah ‘Old Man’ Impression.
Ah do this be’ind ‘im so ‘e can not see me of course.
Ah mince along with mah ‘Old Man Face’.

Some’ow Le Uncle notice me and  ‘e give me a bollocking.
Then Muzzerr look up and tell me to ‘Pull Mah ‘ead in’.

So ah do.

But ah still ‘ave to apologise.
Ah am sorry Le Uncle’ ah say but mah ‘ooves are crossed.
Ah am not really sorry. Eh eh eh.
Le Uncle decide to punish me with a lecture.

On and on ‘e go in Australian.
Something about ‘airy Leedle Tossas and firing up les barbeques.
Ah am almost asleep with boredom.

Suddenly, ah wake with a start and realise ‘e ‘as been lecturing me for about 2 weeks.
Ah still ‘ave no idea what ‘e ees on about.
Ah do not understand Australian, ah do not think anyone does.
‘Ave you finished yet Le Uncle?’ ah whisper,’ah am starving’.

Then, Quelle ‘orreur, ‘e bite me!
‘You did not hear a word I said deed ya?’ ‘e yell.
‘ow did ‘e know?

‘Ah am sorry Le Uncle, ah listen to everything and ah  learn a ‘uge amount all about Australia’.
Ah am making eet up as ah go but ‘e believe me and suddenly ‘e agree to play a game of ”Ad eet up to ‘ere’

As usual, Muzzerr does not approve but she ‘as mud on ‘er face so we do not care what she think.

‘MUZZERR,’ ah am shouting now, ‘AS ‘AD EET UP TO ‘ERE!’

Then we ‘ave a race around le paddock. Of course Le Uncle ees le Old Man
so ah ‘ave to slow mahself right down so ‘e can catch up.
Le Uncle, ‘e go about le speed of la Roosting Pullet.

When we stop, Le Uncle starts quaffing on about what ‘e did when ‘e was a colt.
Ah wonder why Uzzerr Muzzerr does not ‘av ‘er ‘ooves trimmed when we do.