Le Uncle, ‘e ees refusing to talk to me again. ‘e say ah never listen to ‘im. ‘e ees right but ah did not think ‘e notice.

‘Pleeeeease Le Uncle, ah will listen to everything you ‘ave to say,’ ah beg, ah cannot stand eet when ‘e does not talk to me even though ah ‘ave no idea what ‘e ees talking about.

Ah will learn Australian Le Uncle’, ah am pleading now.
Ah know ah am winning when ‘e give a big sigh, but ah lie ‘ere looking cute and cuddly a bit more. Ah know eet melt ‘is ‘eart when ah do this.

Eet all started when a spot F. MacFearsome (Macka), ‘oo ees a seriously fat and grumpy cat, sunning ‘erself on le deck.

‘Le Uncle,’ ah yell, ‘According to Islamb, we must face ‘Macka’ and pray for a ‘ole bag of dignity’.
Islamb ‘as said no such thing but Le Uncle ‘e do not know this.

F. MacFearsome stop washing ‘er backside and look seriously impressed.
This is le sort of encouragement ah lark.

‘Ah worship le ground you lie around on’ ah say.
Of course that ees a load of bollocks, ah am down ‘ere eating le clover.

Then ah bounce up and start dancing around lark a lunatic.

Ah am ‘aving so much fun ah forget about Le Uncle.

Ah am being a War ‘orze .

Ah stop to check out mah reflection in le trough and ah am pleased to report ah am still just as ‘andsome as ah was last time ah look.

Eet was then, that ah  notice Le Uncle’s ‘ock and ah give eet an experimental bite.
‘e ees rumbling on at me in Australian but ah take no notice.

And then ah bite ‘is neck; ah am le feared Great Cream Paddock Shark.
‘e ees yelling at me now, something about ‘pizorf ya heery leedle tossa’.
Ah ‘ave no idea what ‘e ees on about.

‘e try to get away but ah am too fast and stealthy for le likes of ‘im.

And le next thing ah know Le Uncle ees refusing to ‘ave anything more to do with me and ah ‘ave no idea why but ah am sure eet will not last. Noone can resist le awesome power of Le Great Cream Paddock Shark.