Today, mah zleep waz rudely interrupted.

Ah ‘eard a noise so naturally, ah took it upon mahself to investigate.

What did ah find but a man and a loud mouthed Siamese cat ‘iding be’ind a tree.

Of course, ah demand to know what zey were doing.
Ah waz all zet to chase zem away but zen le man, ‘ee convince me to let zem stay.

‘Ow did ‘ee do zat ah ‘ear you ask?
Zis man, ‘ee very clever, ‘ee know all mah itchy spots.

La cat iz uzeless, ‘ee just there with an opinion on everything.
I understand ‘ees job iz le Official ‘Ouse God.

Later ah tell my Muzzerr about le ‘Ouse God and she sayz she ‘eard all about ‘im.
She say ‘ee a nozey Pain in le bum.