Once again ah find mahself een beeg trouble with Muzzerr and Uzzer Muzzerr.

There was some sort of mix up, ah do not know ‘ow eet ‘appen…

All ah know ees, after spending most of yesterday ‘aving a wash and a towel dry,
ah am being accompanied by Muzzerr, Uzzerr Muzzerr and mah Tante Jenny to what ees called a Show. ‘ere ees mah Show Face.

Naturally, when ah get there and see many other ‘orzes dancing about, ah think to mahself, finally, thees is where ah get to show everyone le moves ah ‘ave spent so much time perfecting under Le Uncle’s guidance…

We go in le class called Le Manners…
Ah show them, ah think. So, ah start with mah Passage
(Le Uncle spent a lot of time with me on this one – ‘hold ya foot like so, Son’, ‘e say)

Then, as le line up of  ‘orzes start to move, ah decide to demonstrate mah Levade – ah am quite good at this…
(Le Uncle, ‘e ‘elp me practice, this ees not easy, not many ‘orzes can do this, as ah found out at le show when noone else did eet)

Ah am really getting into showing everyone what ah ‘ave learned and finally beginning to enjoy mah show career, when just as ah am launching into mah ‘Airs above ground’,
suddenly, Muzzerr she ees growling at me and telling me to – Quelle ‘orreur, ‘Pull mah ‘ead in’!!!

Ah did not even ‘ave time to do mah awe inspiring Capriole before ah was dragged out of le ring and made to stand beside mah embarrassing Muzzerr and ‘be’ave mahself’.

Of course, standing there, pulling mah ‘ead een get a bit boring after a while so ah
decide eet ees a good idea to ‘ave a good roll –
‘ow was ah supposed to know that rolling on le ground ees not ‘done’ at le show?

When ah get back ‘ome, Le Uncle want to know eef ah showed them what ah could do.
‘Well Son? did ya get to show them ya moves?’

‘You’d better tell your Uncle exactly what you did Zephyr,’ said mah Muzzerr
‘And it is NOT funny’, she add.

So ah tell Le Uncle everything.
‘Le uzzerr ‘orzes were very posh Le Uncle’ – ah show ‘im mah Posh Face….

So now, through no fault of mah own, ah am, once again een big trouble.
Le Uncle, ‘e ees een big trouble also – something about ‘Teaching me to beaneijit’.

Ah am Muzzerr’s ‘Personal Trainer’.

Le Uncle and ah discussed Muzzer’s fat botterm and decided something need to be done.

She does ‘ave a fat botterm.

She was posing for some photographs while Le Uncle and ah discuss politics and such important stuff.

‘No, ah do not think you would be suitable to be President of this paddock;’ ah ‘ad to say eet.

‘Ah do not think you ‘ave all le qualifications’ ah continue.

Le Uncle, ‘e agree. ‘You’re roight  Son,’ ‘e say, ‘but I’d make a bloody good Prime Meenister’
Ah ‘ave no idea what ‘e ees on about so ah just agree with ‘im.

Then eet ees mah turn to pose.
Muzzerr slick mah ‘air down with slobbeur, and put on mah ‘Fresh Faced Intelligent Young Man face’.

Uzzerr Muzzerr brush mah ‘air back over mah face.
Clearly eet does not pay to look too intelligent.

Just then, ah spy a cloud up een le sky.
Eet ees shaped exactly like Muzzerr’s big botterm!

Ah cannot  take mah eyes off eet.
‘oo climb up there and immortalize Muzzerr’s Botterm out of fluff, ah wonder.

Ah often ponder le big questions, for example … Why am ah ‘ere?

Why am ah ‘ere and not over there where Muzzerr ees?

‘ow did ah get ‘ere? Ah probably walked but ah am not sure.
Ah can not remembeer.

Ah lie on mah back and stare up at le sky searching for answers

Eet ees not very comfortable.

Ah decide then, to set out on le journey of discovery –
one in which ah a find le one ‘oo  ‘ave all le answers.

Ah search, for many minutes and then at last, ah see ‘im.

‘LE UNCLE,’ ah yell, ‘ah ‘ave a question for you’.

‘Don’t you go bothering your Uncle,’ Muzzerr say, ‘He is busy’.

But a question of such magnitude, it can not wait.

‘Le Uncle’, ah say when ah catch up to ‘im.
‘Ah ‘ave an important question’.

And eet ees then that ah notice, Le Uncle look like a big carrot from be’ind.
So naturally, ah take a bite, just in case ‘e actually ees a big carrot disgiuised as mah Uncle.

Ah take eet, from ‘is reaction, that ‘e ees not a carrot at all!

Now ah ‘ave to repeat one ‘undred times,
‘Le Uncle ees not and never was, a big carrot’.