Ah am finishing mah training to be a veterinarian.
Ah watch and learn. Eh eh eh.

You ‘ave to be brilliant to spell veterinarian, let alone be one.

And obviously, ah ‘ave what eet take.

Muzzeur, she ees pleased with mah choice of career.
‘My son the Veterinarian’ she sigh proudly.

Of course, there ees a lot to learn. It take a few days to gain le qualification.

Le Uncle, ‘e ees impressed. ‘e ees also Australian.

‘Crikey’ ‘e say, ‘you might as well send a crocodile to the bleuh bleuh bleuh’

‘e did not really say Bleuh Bleuh Bleuh but ah lost interest after crocodile.’ Ah put on mah ‘Quite Interested’ look.

Besides, ah ‘ave study to do and mah tutor, Monsieur Andrew, Le Vet,
will be ‘ere soon to teach me everything ‘e know.

Eet should not take that long.

Ah ‘ope les Girls will notice mah qualification.

Ah wonder eef Monsieur Andrew will come to me but ah decide to get up any’ow.

‘e ees going to teach me ‘ow to ‘andle Uzzeurr Muzzeur.

Uzzeur Muzzeur, she panic about everyone.

Ah look for ‘er.

Ah see ‘er and ah decide to practice what ah already ‘ave been taught by Monsieur Andrew Le Vet.
1. Do not look directly at le patient. See – ah know exactly where Uzzeur Muzzeur ees but ah am not staring right at ‘er.
Ah do not want to frighten ‘er.

2. Advise on what and ‘ow to feed.
‘Do not worry Uzzeur Muzzeur’ ah say, ‘Just keep le feed up to me and ah will not expire.
You do not ‘ave to actually syringe in molasses to me Uzzeur Muzzeur’, I say ‘elpfully, ‘ah will lick eet up for you’.

‘Of course you can give me carrots – in fact you must,
eet ees essential ah be fed carrots and plenty of them. Do not stint le carrots’.
Ah did not actually ‘ear Monsieur Andrew mention anything about le carrots or molasses but ah am certain ‘e meant to.

3. Ah can not actually remember what le 3 ees, howeveur,
I feel much better now so eet clearly was not important.
Ah will ask Monsieur Andrew to ‘and oveur mah qualification next time ah see ‘im.

Eet is still not easy being le most popular ‘orze in le ‘ole paddock.

Ah ‘ave to listen to le complaints…

Ah then ‘ave to give le advice…

Of course ah give all mah advice een French…That way, eet does not matter what ah say, nobody understand eet but eet sound sincere.
‘Je donne bleuh eifel toweur bleuh conseils,’ ah murmer.

Then ah mutter more french stuff.
‘Je suis er Jacque Cousteau’.

All le mares are unbelievably impressed.
‘Fere Jacques, bleuh bleuh Fere Jacques’ ah say soothingly.

And, mah french clearly work. Starlight, she kindly offeur ‘er rump to me.

‘Merci Beaucoup’ ah say and ah lay mah tired ‘ead on ‘er ‘uge soft botterm and prepare to ‘ave a nap.

‘Come on Big Boy’ she say.
But ah am asleep and ah ‘ave no intention of going anywhere just now.

We ‘ave moved to our Mid Winter grazing and
ah now ‘ave two girlfriends so, of course,  they fart over me all le time.

eet ees not easy being le most popular ‘orze in le ‘ole paddock –
when ah am busy anointing one le other want to be anointed also.

‘Have you seen what your son is up to Merl?’ Le Uncle ask Muzzeur.

‘We have to do something – they are COUGARS!’ growl Muzzeur.

‘Crikey,’ sigh Le Uncle, ‘Cougars you say?’ ‘e is most impressed.

‘He is far too young for the likes of them’ sigh Muzzeur.
‘Cougars,’ sigh Le Uncle, ‘it must be that bloody french accent of his’.

‘Go for eet Son,’ ‘e yell.

Then ‘e add – ‘don’t tell them you’re not really french’.

Ah ‘ave no intention of telling them anything except ‘Sweet Nuzzings’.
Ah start with La Cougar #1. ‘Nuzzing nuzzing sweet nuzzing’ ah say ‘oping Le Uncle was right about this.

It seem to be working when along come Cougar#2, and she do not look ‘appy.
‘Ah am truly le sorry,’ ah say, ‘but ah am le popular ‘orze, er, can you make le appointment?’

‘What do you mean Make an appointment???’ she snarl,
and ah realise this must be le wrong thing to say.

‘Sweet Nuzzing nuzzing nuzzing,’ ah whisper frantically,
Le Uncle ‘as taught me well.

Then she tell Cougar#1 to buggeur off!
‘HE IS MINE!’, she scream.

This wake up mah new friend Booyah. ‘BOOYAH’ ‘e say loudly.

Later on ah ‘ave a lot of making up to do with Cougar#1.
Eet ees ‘ard to manage all these Cougars.

‘Nuzzing nuzzing nuzzing’ ah whisper,  ah am straining to look over ‘er neck,
there is a patch of tasty cloveur down there and ah am feeling a bit peckish’.

Ah am about to whisper more but then ah realise ah am stuck and now ah am drooling at le cloveur.
Eet ees quite awkward.

Muzzeur and Le Uncle are watching. ‘It’s disgusting’ shout Muzzeur.
‘Get away from my boy’.

Suddenly ah am een big le trouble with Cougar#1.
She must ‘ave noticed that ah ‘ad drooled all oveur ‘er coat.

Ah am trying to explain but ah can not talk to loudly because
Cougar#2 will not leave us alone.

‘What are you looking at Booyah?’ ah ask crossly as ah try to patch things up with both mah Cougars.

Le Uncle, ‘e is so envious of mah success with la mares, ‘e about to explode.

Ah am far too busy being le most popular ‘orze in le paddock to worry though.

Being popular ees very tiring. Ah think ah need la sleep.

Suddenly ah wake up and there ees la big cougar staring at me, licking ‘er lips.
Ah am afraid. Ah want mah Muzzeur.

Muzzeur come and rescue me and ah ‘ave to listen to a big lecture from ‘er.
On and on she go.
Eet ees not easy being le most ‘andsome and popular ‘orze in le paddock,
so ah go back to sleep.