Once again ah ‘ave foiled la prison guard and am on la run from le law.
eh eh eh. No need to run too fast.

Uzzeurr Muzzeurr see ah am out and come rushing across le paddock, ‘er arms flap about lark le cat in la washing machine.
”Ello Muzzeurr,’ ah say, ‘is something wrong?’

‘Anyone would think someone break out of le prison again.’  ah say to Muzzeur, ‘eh eh eh’.


”Ow did ah get out you ask?’
‘ZEPHYR!’ she grump , ‘you told me you were on probation’.

‘Ah walk out’ ah say, ‘ow did you get in ‘ere?’.

‘Thank you, ah am le smart ‘orze, by le way,
eet ees pronounced ‘orze, not arse’.

‘And no ah do not know anything about this, do you?’.

Eet is day 7 of l’incarceration.
Eet is visiting ‘our and ‘oo should come to see me but Muzzeurr.
Ah am not doing anything so ah agree to see ‘er.

‘allo Muzzeurr’, I whisper, ‘please do not embarrass me.
‘Zephyr’ she say, ‘ what is this I hear about a prison riot? You have been a very naughty boy and you know it’.
This is embarrassing – ah ‘ope no one ‘ear ‘er. Ah am le Bad Boy and Bad Boys do not get told off by le Muzzeurr.

‘It was not me Muzzeurr, ah ‘ave been wrongly incarcerated’
Of course, it was me all along, but ah am not so stupeed to admit that.

‘Who started it then Zephyr? You can tell me you know, I am your Mother’.

‘Ah can not tell anyone Muzzeurr, ah am sworn to top secret’ ah shout, and ah am looking around to see ‘oo ah can pin le blame on. Suddenly ah see ‘im –  ah whisper to ‘er…

‘All ah can say is that ‘e is a known associate of  le Lambidos, but that did not come from moi’.
Muzzeurr gasp, she spot ‘im too, ‘e is watching us and just between you and me, ‘e look suspicious.
‘Surely not Gollamb?’
eh eh eh she believe me.

‘I always thought you should never trust anyone with dreadlocks’ she say.

‘Crikey’ say L’Uncle, ‘it’s enough to moik your hair stand on end’.

This go even betteur than ah ‘ad ‘oped. eh eh eh

Last night there was le Prison Riot during which le Prisoner broke out.

Uzzeur Muzzeur is not ‘appy; ah get le blame!
‘Ah ‘ave no idea what you are on about’ ah explain, ‘ah do not know where le prisoner is;
‘oweveur, ah will ‘elp you look for ‘im because ah am le ‘elpful little boy’.
Uzzeur Muzzeur too stupeed to remember it was me all along. Eh eh eh.

Ah see la chats – ah will question them.
Ah make sure Uzzeur Muzzeur is noticing ‘ow ‘elpful ah am being.

‘Excusez-moi Monsieur’ ah say loudly, ‘but would you know anything about le Prison Riot last evening?’
‘Monsieur le Chat Noir is clearly guilty but ‘e not saying anything about anything’ ah explain to Uzzeurr Muzzeurr.

Ah try le uzzeur le chat. ‘Ah would lark to talk to you about le Prison Riot’ ah convey,
‘Did you see anything at all last night?’
‘e tell me ‘e do not speak french, this ah convey to Uzzeur Muzzeurr.

Suddenly ah am streepped nakard but before ah am given le streep search ah cleverly collapse on le ground.
‘Ohh arrr ah am dead’ ah groan ‘you can not arrest le dead ‘orze’.

Ah ‘ave laid down on le stone so ah ‘ave to shift le position,
ah ‘ope Uzzeurr Muzzeurr do not notice. Unfortunately, she do.

Ah am marched back to le re’ab. This ah can not believe.

Once again ah am confined be’ind le tarp. Electric Tarp.