It a ‘ot day and we all stand around waiting for the Uzzerr Muzzerr to come out and kiss us. When at last she come we all so excited we call out to her (except my Muzzerr- she too hot)

Nek minute, Le Uncle Persil bite mah bum.

Why did you do zat Le Uncle ah zay.
Mate, he said, you squeal like a little girl and that’s just not right.
Maaate, he say, you should be ROARING like a LION.

For le record, ah do NOT squeel like a little girl.

Muzzerr, ah zay, Muzzerr, Le Unckle zay ah squeal like a little girl.
Tell ‘im ah do not.

Muzzerr? What is a LION?

But she too ‘ot to care.

Muzzerr? Ah zay, and ah make big zilly kissy noises to test ‘er ‘earing.

She still ignoring me zo zen ah ‘ave to roar at ‘er. MUZZERR!!! Ah bellow.

MUZZERR!!!
ah roar; like le lion.

What is it she say, what is so important that you need to shout in my ear?

Le Uncle Persil bite mah bum ah whisper.

I’m sure he didn’t mean to, she said.

Ah thought about zat for a bit and ah am zinking,
‘ow can you not mean to bite someone on le bum?