Zis Morning, ah got dragged along to a family portrait session again.

Mah Muzzerr gave me le big lecture on ‘ow ah waz to be’ave mahzelf.
On and on she went.

Apparently, ah am NOT allowed to be a big ‘am.

But ah realise she ‘as not zaid anything about being a small  ‘am.
Zis cheers me up immensely.

Mah Muzzerr, arranged mah ‘airstyle. She always do zis.

Now you are going to be a good boy? she zay.

Ah promise to try mah ‘ardest. Ah am not any type of ‘am.

After La Muzzerr and zon shots, it waz time for le whole family including Le Uncle.

After la family group photos we all got to play in le big paddock.
Ah waz not a ‘am Muzzerr, ah zay, waz ah? Waz ah Muzzerr? Waz Ah?

Muzzerr did not acknowledge mah lack of ‘aminess, she just got grumpy again.

Zo ah decide to be a racing ‘am. Ah am a very fast ‘am.

Zere iz no ‘am anywhere zat can go zis fast.

Mah Muzzerr is not a ‘am. Muzzerr iz a very slow ‘orze. She is also a very grumpy ’orze.

Ah am too busy being a ‘andsome ‘am to be grumpy.

Finally, ah let ‘er zink she ‘as caught me.

You ‘ave got me Muzzerr, ah zay

You caught le ‘am.

Right ‘ere Muzzerr, it is ah, your zon.

Muzzerr?

Because she ignore me ah tell ‘er ah might die, and ah wail out loud.

Ah am not a ‘am any more ah sniff.

Ah make Muzzerr promise to never be grumpy again.

Even when ah do zis.

Zen ah may ‘ave gone a bit too far, ah can’t ‘elp mahself, ah bite ‘er bottom.
It waz zere, and ah am’ere also.

Well she get all grumpy at me and even though ah apologize and zay ah don’t know what got into me, she zend me away.

That boy, she zay to Le Uncle, he’s got more cheek than you can shake a stick at.

Zo ah decide to test zat theory and ah find a stick to shake.

And shake

And shake zum more.

And zen ah find mah Daddy and make ‘im scratch mah bum.

Ah am Lord of Le Paddock and people are zere to zerve me..

Zen, and ah truly don’t know what got into me, but ah go for a big kiss…

And suddenly ah realise, mah Muzzerr was right; ah ‘ave got more cheek zan ah can shake a stick at.