DAY 2 Annus ‘Orribilis
L’Uncle and ah are le keepers of le secret.

‘Ere ah am ‘obbling around enjoying mah drugs, being le good little boy

Then Uzzeurr Muzzeur come flying over to me lark le mentally disturbed quail.
‘What happened to your bandage?’ she shriek, ‘What have you done ?’

‘Ah ‘ave no idea what ‘appen to le bandage Uzzeurr Muzzeur’ ah say.
Actually ah know exactly what ‘appen to le bandage but ah am not one to gossipe.
eh eh eh.

L’Uncle is watching as usual, ‘e is waiting to say something Australian.
‘e know what ‘appen too but ‘e is not saying either.

Then ‘e clear ‘is throat.
‘Oi could tell you, but then oi’d have to force you to leesen to an entoire symphony played by an acoustically challenged wombat didgeridoo orchestra’ ‘e say.

Uzzeurr Muzzeurr disappear inside.
‘You can come out now’ ah whisper to Muzzeurr ‘oo is ‘iding be’ind le tree.

‘Right’ she say, ‘where were we?’

Ah yes, I see it now’.