A New Career

Today ah try out a new career.

Being a wine connoisseur is not for me. I do not even like le wine.

Muzzerr ees relieved about mah career change.

She blame Le Uncle for pointing me in le wrong direction.
She blame Le Uncle for everything.

‘I dunno’ Le Uncle said to me, ‘you have to find something you’re passionate about son’,

So ah did.Ah am very passionate about le noms.
Especially Le Uncle’s Noms. Ah inhale le sweet scent of pure molasses.

You could not get a more passionate ‘orze when eet come to Le Uncle’s noms than ah am.Ah show you mah Passionate look.

‘Le Uncle’ ah say, when ‘e look at me all grumpy face.

‘You are le one ‘oo say, ah should find mah passion and ah ‘ave –
‘oo are you to take that away from me?’
Le Uncle growl something back, ‘is mouth was full,
ah cannot understand ‘im at le best of times.

‘Hmmm?’ ah say. ‘Now let me ‘ave a taste, ah tell you ‘ow eet made –
for free – huh? huh?’.

’Le Uncle, ah am a food connoisseur – you will not get a better offer –
just one mouthful’.

But Le Uncle ‘e ees ‘aving none of eet. ‘Pees orf ya hairy leedle bludger ‘e say.

‘Ah ‘ave no idea what that means, being french,
ah am more ‘ighly evolved than ‘e ees.
Ah also ‘ear that being french, anyone would be pleased to ‘ave me sample
their noms and tell them ‘ow eet was cooked and where eet came from.

Of course ah ‘ave no clue about such stuff but that does not matteur
– a french accent open le doors to many careers they say.
For instance, being able to talk about food, wine, scuba diving, and art.
Ah ‘ave yet to try talking about le scuba diving or le art.

So ah try again. Thees time I try something new.

Ah stand and ah stare into space and will
mah stomach into making big rumbling noise.

‘Grrrrrrrbrrrrrrr bbrrrrrrrurrrrrrp’ ah go.

‘BRRRRRUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRP’
That one came rolling up from deep inside. I am quite proud of eet.

Ah check Le Uncle. By le look of ‘im, ‘e must ‘ave
eaten something that not taste too good.

‘ah can tell you thees much Le Uncle’ ah say. ‘What,’ ‘e growl, ‘what can you tell me’. ‘e ees spitting ‘is nom all over le place as ‘e talk and ah ‘ave no idea what to tell ‘im, ah ‘ad not thought that far a’ead.
Suddenly ah ‘ave a brilliant thought…

‘ah should be le one to eat your nom first, that way, eef ah die,
you will know not to eat eet’.

‘Listen up, you hairy leedle Galah, oi don’t care eef you are as full
as a fairy’s phone book.
the only type of nom you’ll be getting out of me eef you don’t pees orf right now would be a hoof sandwich’.