Le Uncle tell me mah Dad was ah Gun.
Ah ask Muzzerr about this – she still believe ah was a product of
immaculate contraption.

‘Muzzerr’, ah say, ‘ah know mah Dad was a Gun
so put your ‘ooves in le air and step away from mah wither’.

That stopped Muzzerr slobeuring on me.
Ah could feel ‘er thinking about this.
‘Where is this going Son?’ she ask.
‘Ah don’t know’ ah answer truthfully, ‘ah ‘ave to ask Le Uncle’.

‘Persil’ she growl and ‘er grooming begins to ‘urt me.
’I might have guessed’. Ah can not get away from ‘er fast enough, ah must gallop over and warn Le Uncle.

‘Le Uncle’ ah whisper, ah ‘ave to tell you you are een big trouble with Muzzerr’.

‘Crikey’’e say, ‘You Son of a Gun, what have oi done now mate?’

Ah realise ah can not tell ‘im that ah told Muzzerr
that ‘e told me ah was a Son of a Gun. Ah do not want to be in le’oly Crap.

Ah ‘ave to make something up fast.
So naturally, ah say le first thing that come to mah mind.
‘Muzzerr think you ‘ave been seeing your ex girlfriend again’ ah say, ‘you know le one – la Big BlondeTrolloppe”.

‘Holy Crap!’ shout le Uncle and ‘e gallop off to le opposite end
of le paddock from Muzzerr.

‘e stay down there all morning. Muzzerr ‘as forgotten what she ees mad
at ‘im about but still ‘e stay there with a worried look on ‘is face.

Ah spend le day ‘oping la big blonde trolloppe does not decide to turn up.
Ah do not think she would care that ah am le Son of a Gun.
Ah am a nervous Son of a Gun for le rest of le day.