It was a boring day so ah ‘ad a talk to Le uncle about it.

‘Le Uncle’, ah said, ‘It’s a boring day, what are you going to do about eet?’

All ‘e was interested in was whether ah ‘ad cleaned mah teeths or not.
Why iz everyone so obsessed with whether ah ‘ave cleaned mah teeths?

‘’Ere’, ah said, ‘you smell mah breath – fresh – huh? Huh?’

‘Now’, ah roar, ‘You show me yours Le Uncle’.
But ‘e dodges around me. Obviously Le Uncle does not clean ‘is teeths.

It is when Muzzerr runs away shouting ‘Holy Crap!’ zat ah realise ‘e was
breathing it all over us.

Ah get a big stick to fart off any stray ‘oly Crap.

Le Sheeps were very impressed.
‘And That’s how you deal with Holy Crap’ said
Le Good Sheep Lollypop to Gollamb, ‘oo is ‘er nephew.

Le Uncle has gone off, leaving me to ponder about the deeper zings in life.

Ah wonder about zings like, whether a Fly wizout wings iz called a Walk?

What ‘appens, ah wonder, when a fish gets thirsty?

Why are you looking at me like zat?