Ah am aving le breakfast when le paparazzi come oveur to annoy me once again.

‘God Moaning UzzMuzz’ ah sigh, ‘what is it now?’.

It is le narce day and ah am le starving ‘aving not eaten for at least 10 minute.

‘Ah am le busy rart now UzzMuzz, if you lark to come back in l’afteurnoon ah will make tarm for you then’.

Ah maintain le sense of decorum and continue to eat le breakfast. She continue to aim le camera at me and ah continue to eat. Ah realise she must want pictures of me eating le breakfast. Ah can do this, ah do not marnd. When one is le famous as ah am le paparazzi are to be expected.

Suddenly ah am aware that ah am being ‘Fartobermed’.
Ah snatch le last mouthful of grass while there is still tarm…

‘Ow dear you Fartoberm me,’ ah yell.

Ah think about staying to fart but change le marnd at l’ast minute.

There is no farting with stupeed.