Super Powers

L’Uncle and ah practise l’okey Pokey every day.
‘Put yer left hoof een, put yer left hoof out, put yer left hoof een and shake eet all about’ we sing togetheur.

‘Do the Hokey Pokey and swing around, cause that’s WHAT EET’S ALL ABOUT’.
Ah am ‘aving so much fun ah desard to…

go le solo.
‘Put your botterm in, put your botterm out, put your botterm in and shake it all about’ ah sing.

‘Hang on a minute Son,’ L’Uncle is chasing me, ‘that’s not how eet goes’.
Ah close l’eyes and keep running. ‘e can not see me when ah do this –
ah ‘ave le Super Power of Invisibility. eh eh eh.

Finally, because ah feel bad about using le Super Power on ‘im, ah turn and face ‘im, with le eyes open.
‘e can see me again’.
‘Sorry L’Uncle’, ah apologise, ‘ah did not mean to use le awesome power of invisibility, I do not know what got in to me’.
‘Son,’ ‘e say, and ah know ah am in for le lecture.

‘Yes L’Uncle’ ah sigh, ‘what is it now?’

‘You know oi can still see you when you close your eyes don’t you’.
Huh? This is news to me.

Ah close le eyes and concentrate, ‘be in awe of mah Super Power’ ah say.
‘You don’t have a Super Power, ya great beeg hairy tossa’ ‘e yell.

‘Well ‘ave you got le Super Power l’Uncle?’ ah am bellowing, ‘because ah do not see one’.

Then ah desard to use l’airdressing Super Power .
‘You do not think ah ‘ave any Super Power ‘uh, L’Uncle, well let us see ‘ow you lark this’.
Ah give ‘im le Moullet.

‘e is suitably ‘orrified.
‘Take THAT’ ah shout.

‘What the bloody hell?’ ‘e rear back from L’airdressing Super Power before ‘im.
‘Yes’, ah say, ‘you now ‘ave Le Moullet, you are le BOGAN ‘orze’.

‘And do not tell me ah do not ‘ave le power of invisibility’ ah say and ah take le deep breathe and close le eye and put le right ‘oof up and wave it at ‘im.
‘There’ ah say triumphantly, ‘ow many ‘ooves am ah ‘olding up? What is that? You do not know?’

‘e is silent. Ah know now ‘e cannot see me so ah shake it all about at ‘im.
‘That is because ah am invisible L’Uncle, ah ‘ave le power eh eh eh’.
Ah am shaking it. Ah poke le tongue out at ‘im while ah do it and flap le ‘ooves about. Because ‘e can not see me, ah do not care ‘ow silly ah may look. It do not matteur, ah am invisible.