Today, Le Uncle Persil and ah got la chatting.
When mah Muzzerr looked over ah very cleverly pretend to ‘ave died but ah ‘ad to keep checking to zee if my Muzzerr realised. She never zeem to notice when ah die.

Uncle Persil told me zat ah should try to keep mah eyez closed.
Ee said she would know zat ah waz dead immediately zen.
So ah cloze mah eyez tight.

That’s it son, ee zaid, keep them closed.

Ah listen to Le Uncle telling tales for hourz and ah end up going to sleep,
when ah wake up…

Zere is le orrible zight zat await me.
My muzzerr appearz to ‘ave taken er teeths out!

Ah get zuch a fright ah ave to lean against ‘er and zen ‘ave a drink.

Zen ah talk to my Muzzer about it.
Muzzerr I zay, you need to put your teeths back in before you go to zleep.

Zen, a bit ztupidly, ah realize later, ah continue…

Uncle Persil sayz any stallion oo zeez you wiz no teeths get a terrible fright Muzzerr and would ave to ave counzelling for life.

Alzo ee zayz  you ave a big fat arze so le combination of zees zings, well, you know…

When Le Uncle Persil eard what ah waz telling ‘er, ee lost iz appetite…

Mah Muzzerr did not zay very much, but le next thing ah know she iz stomping down le paddock towards Le Uncle.
Zis cannot be a good sign ah zay to mahself, ah waz only trying to be ‘elpful.

Le Uncle looked worried.

Ah try to delay ‘er using le brilliant tactic of ‘ah ave a sore leg right ‘ere’
But it does not work.
Ah should ‘ave tried being dead again.

Le Uncle Persil is once again not allowed within 1 metre of me.

And ah am keeping mah big mouth le shut.