Being le Professeur Emeritus of le Veterinary de la Séance Degree with Distinction is le serious job.

We ‘ear of le bird ‘oo ‘as fallen out of la tree.
As ah am le one ‘oo know what to do, ah race to resuscitate ‘im.
Le Uncle come with me because ‘e is Australian.
Australians know everything.

Eet ees ‘ard work but le most tricky thing of all, is to find ‘im.

We all gallop around looking for le bird ‘oo ‘as fallen out of le tree.

Muzzeur try to get there on two legs.
‘Wrong two legs Muzzeur’ ah say ‘elpfully.
Clearly ‘er big botterm weigh ‘er down.

Soon we forget about le bird and Le Uncle decide to teach me more of ‘is farting moves.
This ‘ere, it is called Le Livard, because it make le opponent le Livard.

Le Uncle teach me if another ‘orze approach me lark this,
it is because, ‘e want to kiss me and ah must fart mah way out of it.
‘Go orn, Gizakiss,’ ‘e say. Ah am scared.

Ah am very good at le farting – and galloping too. Especially when there is a kiss coming mah way.

Le Uncle show me ‘ow to fend off all manneur of le kisses.

Then ‘e got me. ‘e planted le big Australian kiss on mah neck.
Naturally, ah was ‘orrified.
Ah try to fart ‘im off.

Ah even ‘ide be’ind Muzzeur. No one can see me ‘ere if ah stay still and close mah eyes.

But it is no good. Le Uncle find me.
‘There there moi son’ ‘e say, ‘you look loike a one armed kookaburra’.
Ah ‘ave to think about this. Could ‘e be talking about le bird ‘oo fall out of le nest?

While ah am thinking about this, Le Uncle and ah practice walking backwards.
We walk 5 laps of le paddock backwards.

Then Muzzeur join in and we all do another lap backwards. No one is allowed to look be’ind, not even once.
Ah try to get Muzzeur to break le rule.
‘Muzzeur,’ ah say, ‘there ees a big bird on your botterm right ‘ere, look at it’.
As usual, all she does ees be grumpy at me.

Later that day ah try to make it up to Muzzeur.
‘Come on Muzzeur,’ ah say, ”ow many Professeur Emeritus’s ‘ave big fat grumpy Muzzeurs?’

But clearly Muzzeur is Grass Affected.
Ah mean look at ‘er.