Fat Slappers & Electric Fencitar

Ah ‘ave taken up le Electric Fencitar.
You can play all sort of tunes by plucking le wire with le nose.
‘Bada bung bing bing bong bing biong bing….’
Le Uncle, ‘e ees most impressed.
IMG_9298

As le added bonus, eet drive Muzzeur  crazy.
IMG_9309

‘Stop it Zephyr, that’s not music, it is nothing but NOISE’.
IMG_9310

But ah ignore ‘er, she ees not le boss of me.
‘Bada bung bung bung bada berm’ ah go, ah am on a roll.
Uzzeur Muzzeur ees glaring at me but she ees not le boss of me either.
IMG_9320

Le Uncle ees muttering something about ‘aving respect for Muzzeur
but eet ees all een Australian so ah do not ‘ave to listen..
Besides, ah ‘ave come to le end of mah set.
Ah finish with le resounding ‘BONKITY BOING!’
IMG_9300

Ah give an exaggerated bow.
‘Merci Beaucoup everyone,’ ah say as eef they give me a stand up ovation.
While ah am down ‘ere ah discover le patch of uneaten cloveur.
Ah may be een this position for le while.
IMG_9369

Later, because ah am bored and Muzzeur pay me no heed ah pretend ah ‘ave died.
This will make ‘er notice me ah think.
IMG_9379

Ah roll oveur to see eef she notice yet.
Sacre Bleuh!
She too busy applying ‘er lippystick.
IMG_9380

‘How does this look?’ she ask me.
HOW DOES THIS LOOK???
IMG_9311

Ah can not believe Muzzeur think applying ‘er lippystick more important than ‘er dying son.
IMG_9376

Eet really ees very depressing.
IMG_9386

Ah sink lower and lower into a state of deep depression.
Ah suck on le grass stalks and contemplate mah future.
IMG_9387

Le Uncle ees watching me.
‘Get upya big Galah’, ‘e say.
Ah do not ‘ave to listen to ‘im.
‘You are not le boss of me’ ah mutter.
IMG_9391

All ‘e do ees chat up Les Girls. All day.
IMG_9398

Ah can not believe they so interested een wombats, galahs and crocodiles.
Stazi Paterson, ‘oo according to Muzzeur, ees a Fat Slapper, think ‘e ees ‘illarious.
She ‘ang around ‘im all day.
‘e do not ‘ave time for me any more.
Muzzeur ees a Quarter Horse.
IMG_9400

Muzzeur and ah watch een disgust.
‘Just LOOK at that Fat Brown Slapper’, shriek Muzzeur.
Ah am looking.
IMG_9359

‘She is a Fat Brown Slapper,’ snort Muzzeur.
Eet ees getting embarrassing now,
ah ‘ave to ‘ide be’ind ‘er.
IMG_9361

This ees about as much fun as le visit from le ‘oof trimmeur.
IMG_9362

‘I don’t know what Persil sees in these Slappers’ sigh Muzzeur.
IMG_9364

Ah feel eet ees time to put mah soothing influence into play and ah know just what to say –
‘Muzzeur,’ ah say soothingly, ‘you may not be a Fat Brown Slapper but Le Uncle do say you are a Fat Slapper’
IMG_9341

IMG_9312

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *